Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig; 1,000th Blog Post is About a Captivating Enchanting Library of Lives

 

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig; 1,000th Blog Post is About a Captivating Enchanting Library of Lives

By Julie Sara Porter 

Spoilers: Wow, 1,000th blog post! 9 years! It has been quite a ride! I have been a Book Reviewer longer than I have been anything else and I love it! 

There have been so many authors, so many books, and so many stories that I shared. I feel like I have lived thousands of lives vicariously. So it is fitting that my thousandth review should be The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, a Contemporary Fantasy novel about a library that tells of several potential lives of one woman. 

Nora Seed attempts to take her own life. When she wakes up, she finds herself inside The Midnight Library. The librarian, Mrs. Elm tells her that it is filled with books that represent the various lives that Nora lived had she made different choices. All she has to do is choose one and she is transported to become that particular Nora in that particular reality.

This book has an amazing concept with wonderful themes of choice, regret, memory, loss, possibility, personal happiness, and finding one's true path. The library itself is filled with an endless collection of books, lives, that are untitled and unmarked. They seem to convey sameness and monotony, but instead the stories inside provide a variety of lives with different situations, experiences, and memories.

Nora is the right character for something like this to happen (even if her surname, Seed, and Mrs. Elm’s names are a bit on the nose.) Nora works at a music store and despairs over missed opportunities and lost career paths. She has broken romantic relationships and is estranged from family members. Her life is just going through the motions and feeling like she isn't a part of anything. She feels that her life is one of past regret and barely living in the present.

The lives take Nora through various situations. In many ways, this book is similar to the movie Everything Everywhere All At Once, which presents another woman entering various realities based on different worlds and choices. The realities come from different initial choices. Then those choices result in other outcomes. Some good, some bad but eventually lead to her becoming a more sagacious and perceptive person because of her experience with them.

Nora becomes a pub owner, animal rescue shelter worker, an Olympic swimmer turned public speaker, rock star, climate change scientist, and philosophy professor among other careers. Her family and love life fill the gamut from single, cohabitating, in romantic relationships, married, divorced, to widowed. Her friends are still in touch, grown apart, connected on social media, lost because of breakups, or are completely out of her life.

She is childless, had various miscarriages, has one or two children. She has plenty of pets, allergic to animals, or had pets that died. Her parents are divorced, widowed, still together, both dead, or out of her life. Her brother is estranged from her, supporting her, acting as her manager, alive, or dead. She can be healthy and destined to live a long life, sickly and dying, physically healthy but suffering from various psychiatric disorders, or caught in a serious catastrophic accident.

It's exhausting and also exhilarating keeping track of the various realities, moving along Nora’s life paths, understanding the changes, and finding out the knowledge and wisdom that she obtains from them. Each reality is different but tells a complete beautiful story of a woman receiving the opportunity to explore all of her potential lives to find the one that fulfills her the most.

That is the secret to the various realities. All of them have positive and negative aspects. One where she is rich and famous could also see her as depressed and suicidal. One where she married an ex boyfriend that she still has feelings for gives her lots of friends but various marital problems. 

One where she travels and sees many great places reveals that she experiences them alone. Another where she works for important humanitarian causes puts her in Nihilistic despair when she believes that nothing will improve. Even when she is in a mostly happy reality, there is something that she lost or gave up on. Even when a possibility leads to negative results, she can find something positive inside it. 

The point of the novel is not to find the perfect life or the life where Nora left the biggest impact. It's to find the possibilities that surround her and in turn us. It's for all of us to recognize the hardships and appreciate the pleasures. To find meaning and existence in living no matter the reality. To find everything instead of nothing. In my case, to find the meaning and possibility that exists in every story. All 1,000 of them.


Wednesday, November 1, 2023

New Book Alert: A Shadow Upon His Soul (The WW2 Hidden Lives Series-Book One) by Ophelie Caton; Bleak and Passionate Look at Male Homosexuality During World War II

 



New Book Alert: A Shadow Upon His Soul (The WW2 Hidden Lives Series-Book One) by Ophelie Caton; Bleak and Passionate Look at Male Homosexuality During World War II

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews


I apologize for being so errant with this blog lately. I had a host of personal issues and limited Internet time so I have a lot of catching up to do.

Spoilers: Ophelie Caton's World War II novel A Shadow Upon Its Soul knows how to capture the shadows in wartime: the shadows of family separation, PTSD, hatred, violence, and of hiding one's real identity and sexuality behind societal standards and unjust prejudicial laws.


Karl, a 17 year old Dane has gone into exile to escape the Nazis who will force him to enlist or be sent to a concentration camp.

Kar then finds himself in England where he is taken in by the Hopkins, a kindly couple whose home hosts other borders and exiles. He becomes fast friends with the Hopkins and their son, Paul but his eye is caught by George, a bad-tempered boarder who has problems of his own.


Emotions run rampant in this book and in a stressful time that is to be expected. Karl is an outsider in many ways, even in Denmark. While it appeared to be a happy home that he left, there were hints that suggested otherwise. Later in the book, we learn that his home life was not a pleasant one. It may be a home that should the war end, he may not be able to return to anyway.

This isolation increases when Karl goes to England and spends most of the book trapped by the language barrier. Since he speaks very little English and they know very little Danish, it's hard for Karl to make his basic wants known. Little by little, he begins to understand his host language and communicates in broken English.


Karl finds a surrogate family with the Hopkins Family, new parents and a surrogate brother in Paul. He also finds a temporary rival in George. At first, George is not happy sharing a room and bed with this foreigner. He acts very nasty and rude towards Karl to keep him at arm's length. He is someone who is angry at life because he is estranged from his family and the only person that he ever loved is miles away and in potential danger.


Karl and George's relationship begins when both are at their most vulnerable. George receives devastating news and Karl is confused about his own feelings to this boarder who alternately hates and loves him. They both suffer from pangs of their pasts and those pains are finally laid open for the other to see. Here they are at their most naked and honest towards each other with all defenses down.


Once they open themselves to a real relationship, Karl and George's problems don't magically go away. In fact, they get worse. Karl has to weigh his options about what he wants to do and realizes that the home that he once knew is no longer a home. George's depression continues while Karl temporarily relieved him of that grief. 


Theirs is not a relationship that is built to last but it is one that is meant to change them and bring each other to another level. Karl in particular begins to redefine what the words "home" and "love" really mean.






Saturday, July 8, 2023

Weekly Reader: Semicolon: Life Goes On From A Different Perspective: Living With Purpose by A.P. Aristeiguieta; Captivating Spiritual Journey Into Deep Emotion, Strong Friendships, and Lucid Dreams




 Weekly Reader: Semicolon: Life Goes On From A Different Perspective: Living With Purpose by A.P. Aristeiguieta; Captivating Spiritual Journey Into Deep Emotion, Strong Friendships, and Lucid Dreams

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews


Spoilers: Is it too early to pick a potential favorite book of 2023 because I found a contender?


Semicolon Life Goes On From A Different Perspective Living With Purpose by A.P. Aristeiguieta is a captivating, lyrical, and spiritual book that tells a fantastic story about loneliness, depression, and friendship. 

Semicolon is not unlike some of my other favorite books in the past like Imajica by Clive Barker, Melia in Foreverland by Thomas Milhorat, The Thursday Next Series by Jasper Fforde, A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle, The Neverending Story by Michael Ende, The Unseen Blossom by Zlaikha Y Samad and L'mere Younossi, The Enchanted World Series, Tales From The Hinterland by Melissa Albert, The Bookbinder's Daughter by Jessica Thorne, Kaleidoscopic Shades Within Black Eternity by David A Neuman, Merchants of Knowledge and Magic by Erika McCorkle, and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass). It's a book that is thought about, felt, and lived in as much as it is read.


According to the Introduction, this is somewhat based on a true story, a semiautobiographical novel or a literary nonfiction, on incidents from Aristeiguieta's past. Aristeiguieta's author surrogate is Amy, a teenager who has been hospitalized.  One night, she sees a little boy, Tito, standing by her bed and who appears to be a friendly spirit of some sort.

Amy is released and after a while, her parents send her to a boarding school in Mexico. At the airport, she meets Alberto, a talkative teen about her age who is heading for the same destination and quickly becomes an intelligent and very odd friend to her.


Semicolon is a book that asks as many questions as it provides answers, allowing those to explore their own inner conclusions about what they experienced. It is both thought provoking and visceral at the same time.


The book's excellence starts with its protagonist. While books about troubled teens are nothing new, Aristeiguieta takes great care to capture a young brilliant but fractured mind on the verge of falling into existential loneliness and emotional numbness.


At first, there are some hints about the cause of Amy's hospitalization but we aren't told anything definite until later. She lays in the hospital bed thinking about how she got there. She was someone who felt invisible and lived inside her own head. (What depressed, lonely, imaginative kid hasn't felt that way? Heck what depressed, lonely, imaginative, adult still doesn't feel that way?) One day, she wanted to end those feelings and attempted to take her own life. 

She also reflects that even during her hospitalization, her frequently arguing parents couldn't stop blaming each other, throwing herself even further into despair. She finds no comfort in outside existence so she retreated into her own solitude but when even that failed to soothe her, she decided to kill herself instead.


 This is a very accurate description of long term depression that someone feels when their usual escapes and coping mechanisms no longer work. After all, you can read, watch TV or stream videos, or play games all day. But eventually the book will close, the credits will roll, and the game will be over, and the real world unfortunately has to be lived in.


Tito and Alberto act as sort of spirit guides towards Amy. Throughout the book, Tito leads Amy through various astral projections and lucid dreams to see different views of the world around her. She travels through moments and memories that aren't just hers but belong to other people and recognizes different parts of herself that she thought were long gone.

In the hospital, he astrally takes her out of her room to observe her family, other patients, and their concerned friends and family members. She is able to connect with others in a way that is greater than what she has felt in a long time. Tito is able to open up a warmer part of Amy's personality that still exists underneath the sadness and depression. Later, Tito takes her to a park where there are balloons and a party. This opens up the youthful childlike side of her as a counter to the cynicism that she has developed.


While Tito helps Amy, his appearance does not suddenly solve all of Amy's problems. Her parents send her to the boarding school, partly because they are concerned that she may try to attempt suicide again but also so their arguing and eventual separation does not affect her fragile state. At the school, she is just as isolated as she was at her old one. Luckily, Alberto, the boy that she met at the airport, attends the same school and instantly becomes her closest friend.


Alberto serves a different purpose for Amy than Tito. One could compare Amy's time in the hospital to her being reborn. When she meets Tito, she is like a child and children often communicate with pictures, simple words, and concepts like "love," "fun," and "happy." 

When she goes to the school, Amy re-enters her teen stage. Teenagers are full of questions, confused about the world and their identity, and struggling to understand it. Alberto helps her in that respect.


Alberto is a more human presence than the ethereal Tito. While he is an actual human (possibly), he is very intellectual and intuitive. He asks Amy provocative questions about her beliefs and experiences and shares his own views. He is someone with a deep faith in Judaism but is also open to other spiritual practices like the concepts of lucid dreams and visions and the existence of parallel dimensions. He's like a Teen Guru advising Amy intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

He guides Amy into putting her time with Tito into words and discovering what it could actually mean. 


It is very refreshing that even though Amy and Alberto become close, they do not develop a romance. Aristeiguieta was wise to avoid this because it shows that there can be great value in platonic friendship and that two people, even teenagers, can find connections that are built on mutual trust and care and not necessarily on lust. In developing her friendships with Tito and Alberto, Amy is able to understand her relationships with others like her parents and learn more about herself, maybe even love herself. 


Semicolon is a punctuation symbol that joins two independent clauses without using a coordinating conjunction like and. That's what this book is about, joining independent clauses: things that shouldn't exist at once but somehow do. Things like life and death, dreams and reality, sleep and awake, emotion and thought, dark and light, and childhood and adolescence. They're like Yin and Yang, divided they make separate halves and different sections of a story. When they join together, united, they make a whole picture and story. 


Through her dreams of Tito and her conversations with Alberto, Amy goes on a metaphysical journey by means of astral projection, parallel dimension travel, and lucid dreams to show her a deeper world of love, hope, and the power of one's mind and spirit. 

Whether this book is literally or metaphorically true, it is a powerful account of the mind, heart, soul, and spirit.




Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Classics Corner: The Collected Stories of Franz Kafka by Franz Kafka; Into the Weird, Creepy, and Terrifying Mind of The Kafkaesque



Classics Corner: The Collected Stories of Franz Kafka by Franz Kafka; Into the Weird, Creepy, and Terrifying Mind of The Kafkaesque

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews


Spoilers: There are few authors who are so ubiquitous with a chosen genre, that their names are synonymous with a certain type of writing. Those terms become almost shorthand. Dickensian calls to mind Victorian cities, intense poverty, and characters with bizarre names. Austen-esque makes one think of romance, particularly Regency-era, social commentary, and witty lovers. Orwellian is comparable to police states, dictatorships, and thought crimes.


Another author who lent his name to a style of writing was Franz Kafka (1883-1924). The term Kafkaesque describes the situations which Kafka wrote. The situations are surreal distortions and reveal a senseless, menacing, complex sense of danger.

Last year, I reviewed The Trial, which featured Josef K., Who was on trial for a crime that he didn't even know he committed. He suffers through a bureaucratic nightmare of a trial in which he can barely defend himself. It's an existential surreal situation in which Josef finds himself, the kind that puts the entire legal system on trial. 


These situations were the type that Kafka was knowledgeable about in his whole life. He was born into a middle class German-Jewish family in Prague and was the eldest of six children. His father Hermann, a ritual slaughterer and later a fashion retailer, was severe and cold leaving many scars that appeared in Kafka's writing. His mother was shy, but also never home much, spending 12 hours a day managing the family business. Because of this, Kafka's childhood was a lonely one.

During WWI, two of his sisters moved with their children back to the family home after their husbands went missing. Kafka moved out of the family home at age 31 getting some long sought for quiet.

Though his family were Ashkenazi Jews, Kafka often disagreed with Jewish law and eventually only visited synagogues on the high holy days. He later became more interested in the Yiddish Language and Literature and studied Zionism. He was also an ardent Socialist.


Kafka studied Law at the Deutschland Karl-Ferdinands Universitat in Prague. It was at University where he met fellow law student, Max Brod who became his best friend. Brod described his friend as an avid reader and someone who rarely spoke, but when he did it was important and profound. After Kafka received his Doctor of Law in 1906, he worked as an unpaid law clerk. In 1907, he worked for an insurance company. The long hours and tedious work left him little time for writing. He resigned in 1908 and worked at a company that was more agreeable to his schedule. He eventually became partners with his brother in law at an asbestos company. He enjoyed it at first but felt this partnership also encroached in his writing. In WWI, he attempted to enlist but was discovered to have health difficulties, associated with tuberculosis, which would cause him problems for the rest of his life.

Besides physical health, Kafka had mental health problems as well. He had depression and often said he feared the world inside his head. Modern psychologists believe that he may have had schizoid personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. He certainly saw a lot of bleakness and darkness in the world and that influenced his writing. 


Kafka never married, but had a few girlfriends some of which were the inspiration for characters in his works. He had a strong correspondence with one of his girlfriends, Felice Bauer which resulted in the book, Letters to Felice. He also dedicated his story, "The Judgement" to her.

He was also fond of children. An apocryphal tale reflects this in which Kafka comforted a little girl who had lost her doll. Kafka calling himself "the doll postal worker" wrote her a series of letters pretending to be the doll and explaining that she had gone on a trip and wanted to see the world. He returned with a new doll that looked nothing like the old one but was attached to a note that says, "My travels have changed me." There are some doubts to the veracity of this lovely tale, but it reveals a contrast to the  Kafka people usually are familiar with.Even though there was a dark side to his personality, Kafka was also very imaginative and childlike at times.


Kafka died of tuberculosis in 1924 at the age of 40. Some of his works such as The Trial and The Metamorphosis were published during his lifetime. On his deathbed, he made Brod, his executor, burn his unpublished works including his stories, letters, sketches, and diaries. Brod ignored him and from 1925-1935 had his novels and collected works published. His final lover, Dora Diamant kept some of his letters and notebooks but they were confiscated by the Gestapo in 1933. Scholars continue to search for them.


Kafka's works demonstrate the surreal darkness and are filled with themes of existential crisis and dehumanization. There is an overwhelming sense of complex danger and fear in his short works as well as long. The Collected Stories are a collection of his short stories and novels. Some are extremely complex and hard to define, but most carry those dark themes in which Kafka was known. 


The best of these works are: 


Meditations or Contemplations (1912)

" Unmasking a Confidence Trickster"

Plot: While approaching a house, a recent emigre spots another man who he recognizes as a con artist and tries to avoid him.


Review: The majority of the works in Contemplations are very short two or three paragraphs or barely fill a whole page. They take a short time to reflect a mood, but when they do, the mood is impactful partly because of their brief length.

This particular scenario shows conflict between immigrants and citizens. The Narrator believes that the Confidence Trickster finds him an easy target because he's new to the country. He is hyper aware of the xenophobia that surrounds him, perhaps has already experienced, so he suspects it around him. 

The text never says whether the other man is a confidence trickster or not. Except for a couple of minor lines, he doesn't say anything at all. It's enough that the newcomer suspects that he is, leading to an intense fear and uncertainty bordering on paranoia in his new surroundings.


"Resolutions"

Plot: The narrator is depressed and resolves to pull himself out, but the more he tries the unhappier he feels.


Review: This brief story reveals what it is like to have Depression and is among the most accurate depictions of the illness that I have ever read. The Narrator, possibly Kafka himself since the story first appeared in his journal in 1911, wants to pull himself out. He wants to put on a show, a smile,and be friendly towards his acquaintances that he dubs A,B, and C. He even wonders if it's worth it to even rise from his chair. There are days when it is a great achievement for someone with depression to rise from their bed. 

The Narrator then realizes that it's easier to "throttle down whatever ghostly life remains in you" and refrain from human interaction. Sometimes all someone with depression wants to do is avoid everyone else and be alone with their thoughts. For me this story is 100% accurate as though I, or the more than 3 million people who have this disorder, could have written it. In some ways, I, or rather we, have.


"The Tradesman" 

Plot: A businessman goes about his daily business in a job that depresses him. He feels disconnected from his clients even though he tries to help them. On his way home, he feels depressed and has an out of body experience in which he observes a man getting robbed.


Review: As I mentioned in Kafka's biography, Kafka worked as an insurance clerk but felt that the job stifled his creativity and disrupted his writing time. He felt disconnected and alienated. This story reflects that alienation.

The Narrator is in a job in which he helps people but doesn't feel like he makes any difference in their lives. He even imagines that they are in better circumstances than he is.

When he imagines the robbery, it is a reflection of his own soul. The job is "robbing" him of his joy and purpose in life. But he can't quit, because he depends on the creature comforts that it provides. He allows himself to be robbed again and again.


"Passersby"

Plot: The Narrator walks out at night and imagines that two people walking past him are either playing a game or one is robbing the other with the other chasing him.


Review: This is another one of Kafka's short stories that takes a brief time to reveal a mood. This one reflects The Narrator's paranoia. He goes from believing that the passersby are up to innocent pranksterish fun to believing something dark and disturbing about them.

There is also the fear connected with getting involved. As The Narrator fears one of the passersby is getting robbed, he wonders if it's his duty to help and what would happen if he doesn't. Instead of getting involved, he chooses to resist making that connection, even to potentially save someone's life. He would rather be alone and stew in his what if scenarios than reach out to a fellow human being.


"Unhappiness" 

Plot: A man enters his apartment and gets involved in a strange conversation with a child leaving the possibility that one or both of them are ghosts


Review: It is easy to see why the Kafkaesque world later appeared in other works including TV shows like The Prisoner and Twilight Zone. This story could have fit very easily into any incarnation of The Twilight Zone. (In fact variations of a ghostly child confronting an adult have appeared in Zone episodes like "Nightmare As A Child" and "What Are Friends For?".)

The conversations between The Narrator and The Ghost Child disturb the Narrator but there is something long lost and forgotten in them. The Ghost Child represents his lost innocence which disappeared as the Narrator matured and carried on the burdens of adulthood.

While The Ghost Child is physically dead, the Narrator is figuratively dead. He just floats along his life like a ghost unable to reach anyone or anything. The Ghost Child is the first real emotional connection that he has made.


Stories Published In Kafka's Lifetime


"The Judgement"

Plot: Georg Bendemann, a young businessman, writes a letter to his long distant friend telling him of his upcoming engagement to Frieda Bandenfeld. While visiting his father, the old man taunts Georg about his mother's death, his friendship, and his engagement. During this intense conversation, Mr. Bendemann gains more power and sentences his son to death "by drowning."


Review: This story is probably the most reminiscent of Kafka's real life. He dedicated this story to his then-lover, Felice Bauer who had the same initials as the fictional, Frieda Bandenfeld. While they were never engaged in real life, Kafka's correspondence with her was numerous and affectionate. Perhaps he thought of her as the one that got away.

There are also parallels between Georg and his father and Kafka and his father. Both their fathers were strict, severe, cold men that were hard to please. While Georg keeps swallowing his father's insults to the point that he feels overwhelmed by them, Kafka did not suffer his father's criticisms so lightly. He wrote a long detailed letter explaining why he was afraid of him. (It was published as "Letter to His Father.")

The final passage in which Georg is sentenced to drown is a metaphor for the control that his father has over his life. He suffocated him with his harsh words and cold behavior. Georg's own life slips away under the harsh cruelty of his father.

Because Kafka spent some time working in a job that he hated to help support his family, particularly his cold father, Kafka also felt like he was drowning. Unlike his fictional counterpart, Kafka managed to carve out a life for himself, albeit a short-lived one, through his writing. He finally in his own way silenced and diminished the role that his father had over him.

 

"The Metamorphosis"

Plot: A young man, Gregor Samsa wakes up to find that he has been transformed into a giant insect. His greedy soul sucking family are first terrified of him and then shun him leading to his demise.


Review: This and The Trial are probably Kafka's most famous works and it's easy to see why. "The Metamorphosis" covers a majority of Kafka's most common and prevalent themes.

The idea of a man turning into an insect could be something out of a B Horror film. But Kafka turned this concept into something terrifying and mesmerizing. 

As Gregor struggles to adjust to his transformation, it becomes apparent that he has already been dehumanized. His cruel father, money hungry mother, and spoiled sister, Grete, required him to work in a dull job to support them. They lived off of him like leeches until they bled him dry. As with most of Kafka's protagonists, he takes their emotional and financial abuse in stride. Even after he transforms, his main concerns are how it will affect his family and not, you know, that he is now an insect.

His father's abuse towards Gregor increases as the family finally gets off their lazy behinds and finds jobs. But Gregor's role has diminished. When he finds that his family no longer thinks of him as Gregor, the son that they lost, and refer to him as an insect or "it," he feels his life slip away and he is thrown out like any other insect. He has completely lost his humanity.

The final passage is a gut punch as the Reader becomes aware that his family has learned nothing from the experience. While on the tram both parents realize how attractive their daughter has become and that it's about time she found a husband. As if in mutual agreement, Grete, stretches herself in a sexy pose luring any approachable man. Now that they have lost Gregor, they want to find a new husband and son in law to live off of.


"In The Penal Colony"

Plot : An explorer visits a prison colony and observes the cruel instruments of torture and brutal sadistic behavior of the officer. He is helpless to stop the torture around him or to stop the Officer from dying by his own machine.


Review: This story is so gruesome because it's based on truth. There were many penal colonies, such as Devil's Island, in which prisoners were tortured by their guards.

There are many graphic moments, particularly that concern the torture machine that the Officer operates. He almost treats it like a lover or a cherished object with how lovingly he speaks about this machine that's sole objective is to hurt people. He even jealously guards the blueprints so only he can know how it works. He almost thinks of the torture as his God given right to inflict as his calling. He thinks of the prisoners as vermin who deserve to have inhumane treatment inflicted upon him.

Besides the torture itself, what stands out is the acceptance that the characters have towards this situation. Of course the Officer is too much in love with his work to bother. The Condemned Man, whose only crime is failing to salute a senior officer, has been so abused that he has lost the will to fight. A Soldier just placidly observes the action around him. Even the Explorer makes no move to stop the torture. His only action is to say that he will have a private conversation with the commandment. Release does not come until after the Officer has died by his own machine.

The numbness to the torture and cruelty has spread to all of the characters. Even the Explorer has that cruel sadistic streak in him. When he leaves by boat, he forces the Soldier and the Condemned Man to refrain from jumping into the boat. Though his cruelty is less obvious than the Officer, he shows his own brutal nature and that he too thinks of the Condemned Man as "The Other," someone who deserves to be isolated from society.


"Before the Law"

Plot: This is told in the style of a folktale. A man tries to gain admittance into a building called The Law but is denied by the doorkeeper. The man comes day after day with pleas, threats, bribes,  feigning friendship, until finally the doorkeeper lets him in revealing that the door was only for him at the right time.


Review: This is told in the style of a parable. The Law that the man wants to enter could be a court of law or a synagogue reflecting Jewish Law. The man cannot gain access for unexplained reasons except that it wasn't the right time. It is implied that the right time was during his death.

The man waits for years in front of the door, hoping to be good enough to access the knowledge within. It never occurs to him to leave the door alone or that some things are better left undiscovered. Instead he waits and tries to find ways to get inside, even feigning friendship with the doorman. The fact that he can only access the knowledge after death and the door was meant for him reveals that such knowledge will always be closed in one's lifetime. Some things are better left unlearned.


"Josephine The Singer, or The Mouse Folk"

Plot: Josephine's singing has a large following. Those who hear her are practically hypnotized. They consider her voice a relief from their misery and almost hold her up as an idol or fragile object. They ignore her humanity, personality, and other abilities for the only thing that they value from her: her voice.


Review: As a writer, Kafka was familiar with the struggles of artists and in Josephine's story, he recounts someone whose art is so profound that it has the power to move people for better or worse.

The mouse people are attracted to Josephine's voice because she offers them a sense of culture, entertainment, and a break from their humdrum lives. They are hypnotized by her singing and feel a deep connection to that voice.

Unfortunately, the admiration is not unanimous. Some don't believe that she can sing and that another is singing for her. Others think that she just whistles, like other mice, so isn't anything special. Others resent her because she doesn't do any hard labor. However, no one wants her to do any hard labor or be involved with the community. They only want her to sing.

Josephine's trajectory is like many stars who find fame, become accepted for their talent, are looked as above regular people, and then just as quickly are discarded and made the object of scorn. There is also an attack on commercialization of one's talent. Josephine just wants to share her singing ability, but her audience want to own her voice, control it, and keep it for themselves. They don't care about Josephine as a person and are unaware that she is lonely and her talent singles her out making her lonelier than ever. Just like anything else that is over commercialized and saturated, Josephine is found to be expendable and easily disposable.

Like many entertainers and artists, Josephine disappears young and used up. She is forgotten by the people who praised her singing but failed to know her. Instead they work as before waiting for another distraction to take up their time.


Stories Published Posthumously

 


"The Village Schoolmaster (The Giant Mole)"

Plot: A schoolteacher writes a pamphlet about a giant mole long believed as folklore in his village. He makes this study of the creature his life's work despite the mockery of others, particularly a young smarmy scholar. The Narrator attempts to fix the teacher's reputation by publishing a pamphlet based on his observations which leads to arguments between the two.


Review: This story remained unfinished and ended in a stalemate between the Schoolmaster and The Narrator but it also makes sense that it would end in such a manner. Two scholars bent on their own interpretations would be unable to find little in common with each other.

The story is about the interest scholars have in their subjects. The Schoolmaster forgoes the derision that others have in his pursuit of the Giant Mole. His research is the most important thing in his life and is at the expense of his others, even the Narrator's friendship.

When the Narrator publishes his own pamphlet, the Schoolmaster looks on it as competition as though the Narrator is forcing himself into his territory. He is possessive towards his pursuit of the Mole, considering the research belonging only to him. The research is an obsession in which he feels responsible and owns.



"The Hunter Gracchus"

Plot: In the Afterlife, the deceased Hunter Gracchus, gets into a conversation with the Burgomaster. He has been hunting on the ground and in the stars long enough and wants to be taken to the Other Side.


Review: It's hard to read this without thinking of Kafka being aware of his own impending demise. This almost reads like a Greek myth in which a dead man tries to cross the River Styx. 

Gracchus seems to live a wearying afterlife. While he was a hunter in life, his afterlife achieves little success. He is forced to continue his monotonous existence and hopes that the Burgomaster will lead him to an eternal rest. 

Perhaps as Kafka lay dying, he wanted to finally achieve rest from his personal demons and what he felt was a fruitless existence. He wrote about surreal unhappy things that he knew would continue after him. His final plea was that he could find the happiness after death that sometimes eluded him in life.


 

"The Truth About Sancho Panza"

Plot: A reworking of Don Quixote's famous loyal sidekick. Instead of humbly playing along with his friend's knightly fantasies, this short story suggests that he is encouraging his delusions to the point where he creates the character Don Quixote De La Mancha out of boredom and for his own sadistic entertainment.


Review: Who knew Franz Kafka was a fanfiction writer? Using his usual taste of dark situations, Kafka found a darker interpretation of the loyal friendship between Don Quixote and his faithful squire.

Instead Sancho is fully aware that his friend is delusional. He is the one who enables and encourages his pursuits. 

Similar to the Mouse Folk with Josephine, Sancho feels like he owns Quixote and pushes him for entertainment and amusement. Perhaps he considers Quixote's knightly quests as a relief from his otherwise dull life. He might also push his friend as a means of control and dominance.



"The Advocates"

Plot: The Narrator is on trial and is uncertain whether he has any advocates or defendants. He despairs when everyone seems to be judging him and he wishes that he could collect advocates.


Review: We continue with one of Kafka's favorite targets of criticism: the legal system. This story could have fit right in with The Trial. The Narrator is desperate to find advocates, anyone to defend or speak for him.

This story carries on the theme of loneliness as the Narrator can't find anyone who knows him well enough to defend him. The Narrator is so alone that he can't even defend himself. It is almost the opposite of "The Passersby" in which the Narrator feared getting involved with his fellow humans. In this case, The Narrator is the result of that lack of caring. He now stands alone victimized by the system which tries him.


"Investigations of a Dog"

Plot: A dog tells of his life. He gains an aptitude for music and compares himself to other dogs. He contemplates his own wild nature and wonders if humanity has suppressed it. He experiments with receiving food from humans. In embracing his music and ability to hunt, the Dog accepts his wild nature and freedom.


Review: Since Kafka wrote a lot about dehumanization, it makes sense that he would write about animals becoming more human.

In this case, the Dog is a creative logical creature. He uses his power of music to express his deeper feelings. Like an artist, he reveals his personal pain and struggles through song.

He also expresses an analytical mind as he studies how he receives food from humans. It's a clever twist on the scientific experiments that humans have often inflicted upon dogs.

Despite his logical and creative mind, much of which was adapted because of his involvement with humans, The Dog realizes that he cannot suppress his wild urges forever. When he joins a pack of dogs, it is a liberating and freeing experience for him. He is able to accept his bestial nature and leave the human training behind.



"The Burrow"

Plot: An agoraphobic misanthropic animal, possibly a mole or a badger marvels at the underground burrow that he has made to keep others out. As he goes over the various details, he fears the sounds of approaching animals.


Review: This was another unfinished story but what is there is a brilliant look at agoraphobia and misanthropy told from the point of view of an animal. The Narrator spends most of the time proud of his burrow describing every nook and cranny. It provides his food, shelter, defense, and all that is necessary. He uses it to keep the outside world away from him.

As he hears steps from what could be other animals, he is uncertain that what he hears are real or in his head. He fears the creatures outside so much that it has affected his senses. 

As much as he fears the outside world, he fears himself just as much. As he investigates his burrow, the Narrator both loves and hates his project. With his rejection of the outside world, he wonders if the burrow keeps him safe or holds him prisoner. Does it protect him from the outside world or keep him from it? Can a place be a sanctuary and a trap at the same time?


Franz Kafka certainly gave us plenty of stories that offered deep looks into the dark side of the human psyche. They aren't easy to read or interpret and cause one to feel a sense of bleakness and sadness about the world. However, they also provide a lot of thought and understanding.

Friday, January 1, 2021

Weekly Reader: A Twist of Karma by Wendy Wanner; A Sad, Terrifying, and Tender Novel About Grief, Enlightenment, and Karma Good and Bad



 Weekly Reader: A Twist of Karma by Wendy Wanner; A Sad, Terrifying, and Tender Novel About Grief, Enlightenment, and Karma Good and Bad

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews


Spoilers: Karma. Fate. What goes around comes around. It is a basic tenet found within every belief system. What you give comes back around to you for good or bad. You kill someone, you will get arrested (and possibly face the death penalty  or at least see life in prison depending on where you live.) You steal or embezzle money, expect to be caught and have to pay it back. Even if you were a bystander to such events and indirectly caused or were responsible for a wrong, you may experience feelings of guilt and blame for what you did or didn't do. 

That is the situation faced by Jennifer, a grief stricken artist and mother and the protagonist of A Twist of Karma by Wendy Wanner, a sad, terrifying, and ultimately tender novel about grief, karma, and achieving real Enlightenment.


Jennifer is grieving over the accidental drowning of her daughter, Suzie who died in a swimming pool while Jennifer turned away for a few minutes. Jennifer has been depressed and blaming herself for the loss, so she decides to take a trip to a yoga retreat in Sri Lanka to gain some perspective and heal from the loss.

While in Sri Lanka, she embraces Yoga and Buddhism, and makes some friends with the retreat goers and villagers, particularly with Dharshani, a local girl about her late daughter's age. Even though she faces a devastating loss at the retreat, she begins to feel comforted and at peace with herself.


When Jennifer returns to California, she brings with her a commitment to Yoga and Buddhism, and a return to her art. Those aren't the only things that Jennifer brings to California with her. Several women are mysteriously murdered and Jennifer has been receiving visions in her dreams and artwork of the murders. Not only that but she has been receiving anonymous phantom messages on her Facebook account that only she can see and access. 

What is it going on and what is Jennifer's link to this murder? Is it another grief stricken parent who envies what others have? Is it a stalker from Sri Lanka? Is there a supernatural entity trailing after them? What has Jennifer done to encourage its wrath and how can she undo it?


This is a complicated book. The best parts are when Jennifer is in Sri Lanka and reconnecting with her inner spirit. She clearly makes a transformation from a wounded grief stricken soul to a woman achieving inner peace. Wanner goes into great details about the various Yogic positions as well as the physical, mental, and emotional benefits. Jennifer also explores a deep connection with Buddhism and the Eightfold Path. She achieves a spiritual welcome to the religion.


The book also makes it clear that following a new spiritual path is not a quick and easy answer to your problems. At the retreat and even afterwards, Jennifer is still filled with grief for Suzie's death. She just learns to compartmentalize her grief and embrace life.

Many of these moments are best revealed in Jennifer's return to art and her relationship with others, particularly Dharshani. When she returns to California, many of her paintings reflect the bright colors, nature, and villagers in Sri Lanka in gratitude for what she learned and experienced.


Among the best passages in the book develop Jennifer's relationship with Dharshani. It helps that Dharshani is beyond sweet and adorable, but it becomes clear that the two develop a mother-daughter bond. Jennifer's daughter is dead and Dharshani's mother is sick, so the two fill a need for each other. These moments remind Jennifer that it's okay to reconnect with other people, especially children. That hurt may still be there, but could be cast aside to live again.


I am of two minds about the thriller subplot that awaits Jennifer upon her return to California. On the one hand, it has some suspenseful moments such as when Jennifer paints one of the crime scenes without any previous knowledge of it and her nightmares of Suzie surrounded by a dark presence. It plays into the whole idea of Karma and guilt and how it can play onto others not just the one who is personally affected (though usually metaphorically not physically).


On the other hand, the plot turns a woman's personal struggle with grief and karma into a hoary mystery thriller which takes away from Jennifer's internal conflicts. There are some distracting Whodunnit moments that would work well in other books, but not necessarily in this one. Also, the resolution somewhat plays into the theme of Karma, but the reason behind it is a bit cliche and involves a sudden return to Sri Lanka to resolve it.


A Twist of Karma is a brilliant book that is enlightening in its theme. Wendy Wanner deserves good karma for writing it.



Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Weekly Reader: It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini; An Understanding And Always Relatable Book About Mental Illness


Weekly Reader: It's Kind Of A  Funny Story by Ned Vizzini; An Understanding, At Times Funny, But Always Relatable Book About Mental Illness
By Julie Sara Porter,
Bookworm Reviews

Spoilers: It's Kind of a Funny Story is one of those books that I find spookily relatable. It hits me the way books do when you see your life told in someone else's words.

Though I am miles apart from Ned Vizzini's protagonist, Craig Gilner in age, gender, income, and lifestyle I can see myself in him because both of us have depression and anxiety. Many of the examples that occur throughout Craig's narrative are uncomfortably familiar not only to me but to anyone else with mental illness.

Craig’s depression and anxiety are ways of coping with intense pressure from school. He is brilliant but doesn't feel excited about anything he is learning. He can't find any interest in any school activities or happiness in any activities at all.
The one work he enjoyed was making maps as a child, but he destroyed them when people told him that he could never be a map maker because “everywhere has been mapped.” He only likes to play the PlayStation and get high with his friends.
Those of us with mental illness can understand those times when nothing excites us and we just go through the motions. We can also understand when we take interest in something and how others’ or our own perceptions cloud even that interest.

The pressure increases when Craig gets accepted to a prestigious Manhattan academy. While he considers the acceptance a victory, he is constantly filled with anxiety and worry with each test and assignment. He becomes obsessed with worrying about graduating, getting accepted to college, and getting a job.
People with anxiety and depression keep fearing the worst and worry that one failure or disappointment is going to lead to more. (Craig's anxieties are manifested as a drill sergeant in his head that keeps pushing Craig forward.) It's hard for us to find even slight happiness in achievements because we are always second guessing our decisions and imaging the worst.

The book has some interesting touches that aren't often found in other books on mental illness. While Craig is diagnosed with depression and prescribed Zoloft fairly early on, during an upswing he believes he is completely recovered and stops taking it only to result in worse mood swings afterward.
Many people who are mentally ill often go through brief periods of extreme productivity and experience happy giddy feelings usually because of positive external moments. Sometimes the slightest disappointment is enough to bring the euphoria down and the depression and anxiety returns sometimes worse than before.

While Craig has suicidal thoughts, Vizzini doesn't make him actually attempt the act. Instead after a night of calling the Suicide Prevention Hotline, Craig decides to walk  two blocks to the psychiatric ward and voluntarily commit himself.
There are many who aren't mentally ill that believe if a person isn't a violent threat to others or themselves, then they really don't have a mental illness. Some throw out terms like “drama queen”, or “first world problem” as if to dismiss those feelings and the person having them. Vizzini's writing shows that depression and anxiety come in all forms and sometimes the moment when someone realizes that they need help can be just as individualistic as the symptoms preceding it.

When Craig is institutionalized in the adult section of the psychiatric ward (the teen ward is being renovated), he bonds with the other patients, many of whom are just as troubled as he is. There is Muqtada, Craig's roommate who is so agoraphobic that he won't leave their room, Armelio, who believes he is the President of the World (or the Ward anyway), and Noelle, a potential love interest for Craig who has a history of self-mutilation.
Craig also receives help from his therapist, Dr. Minerva and Nurse Monica, medical professionals who are truly committed to helping pull the patients through their hospitalization.
Craig learns to sort out his anxieties and fears and to minimize them in his life. (The drill sergeant in Craig's head even becomes encouraging towards his recovery.) Craig also reignites his love for map making turning his maps into works of art to be displayed in the ward. He also begins to look forward to his release where he will leave his high-pressured academy and begin art school. While Vizzini's book shows there is no one specific path to recovery from mental illness, one thing that helps is to find a goal to achieve and possibilities for a life outside of the illness.

Like other great books about mental illness, such as Elizabeth Wurtzel’s Prozac Nation and Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar, It's Kind of a Funny Story humanizes the illness by giving us an understandable character to go through it. Those who have been there can relate. I know I do.