The Sisters: The Saga of The Mitford Family by Mary S. Lovell; Engaging Biography of Provocative, Controversial, Opinionated, and Unique Sisters

 

The Sisters: The Saga of The Mitford Family by Mary S. Lovell; Engaging Biography of Provocative, Controversial, Opinionated, and Unique Sisters 

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews

There are many controversial wealthy families in the 20th and 21st century who made news because of their scandalous behavior, illegal activity, political involvement, entertainment value, or even just by having a prominent family name. One of those is the Mitford Family, a wealthy titled English family. Mary S. Lovell tells the story of this eccentric family particularly the six Mitford Sisters in her book, The Sisters: The Saga of The Mitford Family.

 The Mitfords were shocking, provocative, controversial, divisive, opinionated, unique, and captivating women that interested, fascinated, and disgusted people with their behavior and involvement in the mid-20th century political, social, artistic, and cultural landscapes. They were the subject of books, movies, and miniseries. They recently appeared in episodes of Peaky Blinders and the miniseries Outrageous.

This book, The Sisters, captures their fascinating dynamic, diverse personalities, stormy private lives, and different views which drove many apart from each other. (On a personal note coming from a large family with mostly sisters, I have always been fond of reading about that bond between siblings particularly sisters. Those women who alternate between best friend and worst enemy for so many of us.)

The Mitfords were the children of David Freeman Mitford, 2nd Baron of Redesdale, Northumbria and his wife Sydney Bowles. They were a wealthy, accomplished and highly intelligent family whose maternal grandfather founded several influential magazines like British Vanity Fair and wrote historical biographies. They were also related to the Churchills.

The Mitford parents had different socio-political views which inspired their children in various ways, not all of them for the better. David was an ardent Conservative and held very traditional views particularly where women were concerned. Sydney later became a Fascist and spoke admirably about Hitler. This view would influence three of her children to catastrophic results.

The Mitford’s privileged upbringing shaped the children early on as their parents experimented with various approaches to childrearing. They raised eldest Nancy with few rules and restrictions but reverted to becoming more rigid with the younger children when they felt that Nancy was becoming too spoiled and argumentative. Because of David's rigid views about men and women, they home schooled the girls but sent their son, Tom, to public school in Eton. They were also raised largely in their family estate in rural Northumbria where their snobbish parents only wanted them to hang out with children of their class.

Because of the home schooling and isolated upbringing in the country, the sisters were largely self-taught. They were voracious readers and devoured the books in the family library. They also created their own activities like writing The Boiler, their own literary magazine and newspaper, developing their own secret society called The Hons (a nickname for hens), raising farm animals for pocket money, and creating a secret language that they called Boudelage. This busy thoughtful upbringing molded their creativity, shaped their independent thoughts, and honed their self reliance.

The Mitfords consisted of seven siblings, six sisters and one brother. They were:

Nancy (1904-1973)- One of my two favorite sisters in the family. The eldest, Nancy had a troubled relationship with her siblings because of her caustic teasing sense of humor and bossy nature. She took the lead in many of their activities like editing and publishing The Boiler, created various games, and gave her younger siblings nicknames.

Nancy and her sister Diana were part of the Bright Young Things of the Roaring Twenties and had a close friendship with author Evelyn Waugh. Nancy had a stormy love life consisting of a broken engagement with Hamish Erskine, a closeted peer, an unhappy marriage to Peter Rodd, an alcoholic politician, and an ongoing tempestuous love affair with Gaston Palewski, a womanizing French colonel.

 Nancy's relationship with Palewski was particularly toxic as she became obsessed with him but he devalued and belittled her and was frequently unfaithful.

Nancy was a moderate Socialist though acknowledged her aristocratic upbringing. She was virulently against Fascism despite her mother and siblings’ support and took part in relief efforts for the war. During WWII, Nancy denounced her sister Diana who was an ardent open Fascist.

Nancy became a novelist. Her works included Highland Fling, a romp about Bright Young Things on vacation in Scotland and Wigs on the Green, a satire of the British Fascist movement particularly her brother in law Oswald Moseley. Her trilogy, Pursuit of Love, Love in a Cold Climate, and Don't Tell Alfred featured fictionalized versions of her family including her father, sisters, and other relatives. Her novels presented light hearted, mocking, and satirical accounts of the times and society in which she lived. 

Eventually she moved to France where she wrote historical biographies about Madame de Pompadour, Emilie du Chatelet, and Frederick of Prussia and various satirical articles and essays mocking British aristocracy. She died of Hodgkin's Lymphoma after years of frequent pain and surgeries cared for by her younger sisters, Diana, Jessica, and Deborah.

Pamela (1907-1994), The second child, she was the more maternal figure in the children's lives when they were younger. She was frail in early years having developed polio but later became physically strong and healthy. 

Nancy and the younger siblings often came to her for advice. Like her older sister, Pamela was a skilled organizer. Nancy influenced her siblings’ creativity but Pamela was more concerned about their practical needs. She began negotiations between her siblings and their father to increase their earnings from raising farm animals to the commercial average that actual farm workers were making. David was impressed by her research and nerve, so he acquiesced to the request.

Pamela married a physician named Derek Jackson which ended in divorce. She had no children but she and Derek briefly raised her sister Diana's children after she was arrested. She was also the subject of a poem by John Betjeman in which he called her “the most rural of them all.” She was flattered but turned down his marriage proposal.

Despite her marriage, Pamela was a lesbian. She fell in love with Giuditta Tommasi, an Italian horsewoman and lived with her for a time in Switzerland. After Guiditta’s death, Pamela remained in Switzerland until the last of their dogs died.

Unlike her involved siblings, Pamela largely stayed out of politics and spent much of her time in the country. She had a vast array of fur and feathered babies and managed farms in Ireland, Switzerland, and England. She became an expert on breeding chickens, even introducing new breeds into Britain. She appeared on television in agricultural themed documentaries and retrospectives about her family.

A lover of animals to the very end, Pamela's final words, before she succumbed to complications from falling down a flight of stairs, were asking which horse won the race the day before. 

Tom (1909-1945)-He was the third child and only boy. He didn't get as much attention and wasn't as widely known as his more colorful sisters but was still a large presence in their youth and adulthood.

 Because of his schooling, he was not as close to his sisters. He shared similar views to Diana, Unity, and their mother Sydney and despite very different opinions was very close to Jessica. 

Tom was bisexual and had serious affairs with Eton classmate, James Lees-Milne and married dancer Tilly Losch. He also dabbled in Fascism before his death in WWII shortly before the war’s end.

Diana (1910-2003)-The fourth child and third daughter, she was considered a great beauty and social butterfly. She had a wide circle of friends, modeled, and posed for portraits. She was particularly fond of her cousin Winston Churchill who nicknamed her “Diana-mite.”

 The three younger sisters treated her like the cool big sister that they could have fun with whereas bossy Nancy and motherly Pamela did not always suffice. Unity particularly worshipped her which was a factor in her own problems. Like her sister Nancy, Diana was part of the “Bright Young Things” social set of the 1920’s and had many friends and lovers among them.

Diana eventually married and divorced Bryan Guinness, heir to the Guinness Family. She also embraced Fascism and their views of racial superiority. She eventually met and began an affair with Sir Oswald Moseley, head of the British Union of Fascists. They later married after the death of Moseley's wife and became a very notorious couple. Their wedding was attended by Hitler and they considered him and his girlfriend, Eva Braun to be close friends. At one point, Diana was considered “Britain's Most Hated Woman.”

After the Germans invasion of Britain, the Moseleys were arrested and imprisoned leaving Pamela and her then husband Derek to raise their children. Upon their release, they were exiled and lived in South Africa for a time where their racist and nationalistic views were welcomed by the White Apartheid-supporters.

After Moseley's death, Diana wrote book reviews. One of her columns ended when the editor learned of her previous involvement with Fascism and Nazism and terminated her employment. Her columns and articles then mostly appeared in right wing journals. She also wrote nonfiction works about her husband and her close friends and acquaintances like Wallace Simpson, the Duchess of Windsor.

 She later renounced many of her views but retained others such as her continued administration of Hitler. Many considered her words too little too late. She died of emphysema and heat exhaustion during the Paris heat wave of 2003. 

Unity (1914-1948)-The fifth child and fourth daughter. She resorted to shocking and provocative behavior to be noticed among her loud and busy family and may have had mental health disorders. She did unusual things like release pet snakes and rats in public places to get attention. 

Unity was particularly close to her sister, Jessica whom they referred to each other as “boud.” They communicated in their secret language Boudelage so well that they were not always understood by others. However they also had diverse views concerning the conflicts in the 1930s world in which they were raised.

 Unity supported Nazism and admired Hitler while Jessica became a Communist and devotee of Lenin and Stalin. Supposedly, their bedroom was sharply divided with a German flag, swastikas, and pictures of Hitler on Unity's side and Soviet flag, hammers and sickles, and pictures of Lenin and Stalin on Jessica's. 

There is some evidence that Unity was led to Fascism and eventually Nazism specifically because of her mother, brother, and older sister Diana's influence. That may have been true but her devotion became an obsession and paranoia. She openly spoke about and wrote Anti-Semitic views and was volatile when challenged.

Unity was obsessed with Adolf Hitler to the point of stalking him in Germany. They developed an affair during Hitler's temporary break up with long time lover, Eva Braun. It was a dangerous affair in which the leader infantilized and dominated her and she was submissive towards him. 

Their affair ended when Unity attempted suicide via gunshot on the eve of the German invasion of Britain. She survived and returned to England in the care of her mother and younger sister, Deborah. 

Unity suffered brain damage and amnesia. She fell into a childlike dependent state often requiring care. She may have had a brief passionate relationship with John Anderson, an RAF pilot but it ended quickly when he was reassigned and subsequently killed in battle. Unity eventually died of meningitis caused by cerebral swelling from the bullet. 

Jessica or Decca (1917-1996)-My other favorite Mitford sister. The sixth child and fifth daughter, she was the most outspoken and rebellious child and wasn't afraid to challenge her parents and siblings. She argued with her father when she wanted to go to school and questioned her mother's insistence on only playing with children of their class.

As previously mentioned, Jessica and Unity were close but took directly opposite political views. Jessica read about the Great Depression, the union strikes, racism, and hunger marches. They stoked her social conscience. Her sympathies towards lower income people led her to embrace Communism to the detriment of the rest of the family.

She eventually eloped with Esmond Romily, himself an avowed Communist and a distant cousin of hers and Winston Churchill’s. The Romilys emigrated to Spain where they sided with the Loyalists or Republicans during the Spanish Civil War. They wrote articles denouncing the Nationalists, tested weapons, and argued with their family who insisted on Jessica's return. Eventually the Romilys left Spain and moved to London then the United States.

While in the United States, Jessica became involved in various causes. In lieu of their once close bond, Jessica continued to speak well of Unity, but she was antagonistic towards Diana. After Edmond’s death during the War, Jessica denounced her older sister saying that she and Moseley should be shot. (They only reconciled years later while caring for an ailing Nancy.) 

Jessica eventually remarried a Civil Rights attorney named Robert Treuhaft and became heavily involved in American politics. She took part in protests to stop the execution of Willie McGee and refused to speak in front of the House of Un-American Activities.

Jessica, a self-described “professional muckraker” and investigative journalist wrote books and articles that explored her views in great detail and attacked various institutions and industries in Europe and the United States. Her books included, Hons and Rebels about her childhood, The American Way of Death (considered her most important work), attacking the funeral industry, The Trial of Dr. Benjamin Spock, The Rev. William Sloane Coffin Jr., Michael Ferber, Mitchell Goodman, and Marcus Ruskin, focusing on their protest against the Vietnam War and conspiracy to violate draft laws, Kind and Usual Punishment: The Prison Business attacking the American prison system, and The American Way of Birth, which criticized hospital care towards pregnant women, and articles about Southern attitudes about the Civil Rights movement for Esquire and decrying fraudulent correspondence course businesses for the Atlantic Monthly. 

True to her negative views about the American funeral industry, when Jessica died, her funeral cost a mere $533.31 and her ashes were scattered at sea.

Deborah or Debo (1920-2014)-The youngest of the family, she was considered quiet and sweet tempered. She was often babied by her older siblings and went along with many of the older ones’ schemes.

Deborah's sympathetic nature towards her siblings continued through the adversities. Even after her family stood on opposite political sides, she retained close correspondences with all of them often serving as a bridge among them. Similar to Pamela, she largely stayed out of politics and her views shifted from Conservative to Social Democratic. 

She was also the most sensitive and was greatly affected by her parents' separation when her father moved out of the Mitford home to an island off the west coast of Scotland and her mother remained on the estate. They reunited briefly when Unity returned. However they remained separated, unreconciled, but legally married until David's death in 1958.

Deborah eventually married Andrew Cavendish, the second son of the Duke of Devonshire. His older brother, William was killed in action in 1944 and William’s wife Kathleen “Kick” Kennedy died in a plane crash, Yes she was the sister of John F. Kennedy which linked the Mitfords to another wealthy, famous, controversial, and influential family. After the death of Andrew’s father, he and Deborah became the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire.

 Deborah took to running her husband's ancestral home, Chatsworth House which was in poor condition upon her arrival. She spent time and money renovating, restoring, and modernizing it. It is now one of Britain's most successful stately homes and is open for tours.

Deborah wrote several books on Chatsworth's restoration, the rooms, furnishings, and gardens and other books about home care. She was frequently interviewed about her sisters, including for Lovell's book becoming an unofficial family historian. When she died in 2014, she was honored as the last of the Mitfords.

The Mitford Family were outrageous, scandalous, and colorful. They were women who were highly intelligent, knew their own minds, and chose their own paths. Sometimes those paths led them down dark roads of prejudice, violence, hatred, and animosity. They suffered heartbreak, loss, separation, and the effects of a world that rapidly changed around them. Lovell's book shows that most importantly the sisters were unforgettable. 

The Purpose of Getting Lost by Tracy Smith; Recovery and Self-Discovery Through Travel

 

The Purpose of Getting Lost by Tracy Smith; Recovery and Self-Discovery Through Travel

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews

Spoilers: Tracy Smith's The Purpose of Getting Lost is a detailed and introspective memoir about Smith discovering herself through travel.

Smith survived a childhood of rejection, and an adulthood of divorce, the departure of her kids, the fading of old friendships, extensive surgery, physical pain, and mental health crises. At age 49, she booked a flight to Iceland and kept on going afterwards to other countries. She didn't consider travel an escape but a “way to stitch (herself) together and pay tributes to the part that (she) had ignored for so long.”

One of the most interesting aspects of the book are the icons that appear before each chapter to reveal what elements Smith explored during that particular part of the trip. They consist of mountains to indicate Adventure, fire for Community, a tornado for Risk, an elephant for Acceptance, a lighthouse for Confidence, and a bird for Freedom. These icons indicate that Smith was not traveling just for fun or just to be a tourist. She intended to challenge herself and explore aspects to her personality that helped her become a more fulfilled person.

Smith’s first trip to Norway and Iceland was a risky endeavor. Since it was largely unplanned, she walked around the terminal trying to figure out where to go, how to use her phone, and how to find a bus to Reykjavik. This reveals that a trip made by impulse often has its drawbacks and sometimes relies on guesswork, patience, and asking people.

Since it was her first couple of days, Smith's primary emotions, uncertainty and exhaustion, marred her first views of Reykjavik. She was looking forward to this journey but was also overwhelmed by the choices, the new surroundings, and anxiety. She recovered enough to go to a nearby bar dressed in Buffalo Bills attire and struck up a conversation with a fellow sports fan. This chance meeting soothed her uncertainty by reminding her that seeing new sights and meeting people are worth the risk of traveling alone. 

Smith’s sense of adventure was tested when she visited Doha, United Arab Emirates during the World Cup. Surrounded by people, Smith felt several anxieties about such things as being kidnapped or getting lost. She silenced her fear by pausing and looking at the people and sights around. Instead of returning to the hotel, she stopped to enjoy herself. This was her trip and her adventure so she reasoned that she might as well make the best of it.

The adventure continued as Smith entered a mosh pit consisting of soccer fans. Caught up in the excitement of the crowd, she joined them cheering, clapping, and celebrating. Some men even lifted her up and pushed her over a gate into a restaurant that she wanted to eat at. This was an experience in facing large crowds and finding a sense of adventure in an unfamiliar place and surrounded by unfamiliar people. While she faced many natural elements and risky tours, the fear of crowds and unknown places can be filled by anyone going on any trip. It is an adventure to face those fears as much as mountain climbing or bungee jumping.

Smith’s solo trips were an experience in acceptance. Before, she often made decisions that involved other people, but this journey was a practice in self-care and reliance. Her trip to Costa Rica with her daughter was a relaxing journey but Smith had to accept that her daughter was growing up and therefore so should she. Her journey to Croatia was much more difficult because it involved a fracturing relationship. Her time in Croatia was cut short because she and her boyfriend broke up. She had to accept that loss and move on.

This relationship and its end left her with a choice to visit a friend in Italy who was going through her own issues and risk hurting her with the pace or go to Portugal alone and allow her friend to heal. She chose Portugal recognizing that her friend needed rest and not the stress of travel and that Smith herself needed some time alone to sort through her troubled relationships. This allowed her to accept herself by herself.

Smith was often a planner and often made itineraries and lists. While that can be good for travel especially in the early stages, it can limit the spontaneity and surprises that come with travel. Smith’s time in Koh Samui, Thailand taught her to enjoy freedom. She viewed a waterfall with a tour group that she stumbled upon and was in awe of the sight that she might have missed if she stuck to a plan. 

Most of that time on the island was spent relaxing and not sight seeing. Smith rested in the hotel, read her Kindle, went swimming, shopped nearby, and observed people around her. The relaxation and freedom of living in the moment was just as important for her as the times where she took tours, participated in adventures, and interacted with others. 

Not all of Smith’s trips were solo adventures. As previously stated, she traveled with her daughter, son, ex, and friends. She also interacted with strangers forming a large global community of friends and family around the world. Traveling to Greece with her friends Stacey and Cheryl illustrated the importance of community especially when traveling. The three friends booked separate rooms, had a loose itinerary, and spent some time by themselves. Ironically, their solo time deepened their connections to each other because they had space to breathe and their time together was much more engaging.

Another journey with her friend Carmen also taught Smith about forming community with others. Carmen introduced her friend to her family in Puerto Rico who accepted Smith as one of their own. She had meals with them, conversed with Carmen’s aunts and uncles, and was embraced by their warmth and hospitality. She arrived as a stranger but left as a surrogate niece and cousin.

Smith’s travels were exercises in persistence and confidence. She endured many hard and difficult journeys such as climbing pyramids, hiking through the jungle, and visiting Machu Picchu. She realized that these dangerous trips were tests of her persistence and ability to survive them. 

Many of her experiences tested her endurance. Once in Belize, her group had to climb 130 steps. Even though she sweated, her legs cramped, and she doubted herself, Smith made the climb. She said that “the climb wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t graceful but it was mine.” This was true confidence in herself and her journey.

Traveling around the world gave Smith several opportunities to encounter new places, meet new people, learn some important lessons, test her strength and endurance, take risks, practice self-care, live in the moment, and ultimately to find herself.

Oak Logs and Gasoline Tending Your Internal Fire by Jake Knox, Raising Readers How to Help Your Child Learn to Read by Amy Coffey; The Platinum Workforce: How to Train and Hire For the 21st Century's Industrial Transitions by Trond Arne Undheim; The Divine Feminine: From Awakening to Walking to Union by James Compton

Oak Logs and Gasoline: Tending Your Internal Fire by Jake Knox 

  Jake Knox’s personal development book, Oak Logs and Gasoline: Tending Your Internal Fire, uses fire as an extended metaphor for life and the choices that we make. This metaphor is concrete and poetic as Readers are encouraged to consider whether their lives overwhelm with excess heat, are underdeveloped leaving them in the cold, or provide just the right amount of warmth.

Knox used various analogies such as that people are “simply cold” because they don't know how to start their own fires. He advises Readers to find a “woodsman” or a mentor that will build a fire that lasts and guides Readers to use their talents and choices wisely.

This book encourages inner reflection and considers questions like "Why am I here? What drives me? Who am I here for? Who makes this worth fighting for? What do I want in life?" These questions and the answers help readers shape their journeys. They are the sparks that light the flames.

Each chapter includes reflections and conversations. They ask questions like “When was the last time you said or did something that is truly yours not copied, not influenced but born from what you believe?” 

A unique approach is that the reflections ask from the perspective of both the student and the mentor. Mentor questions include “when in your life did you first find your own voice-the moment you stopped echoing and started speaking from conviction?” 

This allows Readers to focus on where they are in their specific journeys either just starting out and looking for advice or if they are experienced and want to guide others. 

Raising Readers: How to Help Your Child Learn to Read by Amy Coffey

Reading is very important as a necessity and as a pleasure. Unfortunately, many statistics state reading problems or have high basic reading skills but none for pleasure. This book discusses what the brain does to read, why reading is important, and what parents, guardians, and educators can do to encourage a generation of readers.

The brain lights up in all four lobes and enables three jobs: visual process of registering orthographic symbols, translates symbols to sounds, and sounds into meaning and comprehension. Many children that have trouble with that process are dyslexic. Educational methods and technology do their part in shaping this process.

The book suggests different means to encourage children to read like online tutoring services like Reading Adventures, reading out loud with children, have interactive questions and answer sessions about the book, sound out and study hard to follow words and terms, compare books to other pop culture touchstones like movies and television, play games like I Spy or card games with words, have book club parties, and high impact tutoring, and of course work with teachers, librarians, principals, and educators together to create a comprehensive plan from all sides.

The Platinum Workforce How to Train and Hire For the 21st Century's Industrial Transitions by Trond Arne Undheim 

The current workforce is changing because of the abundance of AI and the remaining need for the human element. Futurist and author Trond Arne Undheim suggests ways that workers can adjust to work with and not against AI. There are certain things that AI is unable to replicate like creativity, critical thinking, human to human communication, and empathy. This book takes a look at that changing environment and what employers and employees need to do to adapt and adjust to it.

Among the suggestions that Undheim makes is for employers to revamp their reskilling programs to help employees train skills that they may not have learned or known before. It would also do a lot of good for employers to reskill and retrain as well.

Other suggestions include enhancing human capabilities through scientific and engineering interventions like AI systems, genetic modification technologies, biotechnological innovations, nanoscale engineering, neural interface development, and cybernetic integration. Many of these and other fields are transformative in nature and still rely on human technology interaction.

Undheim also suggests changing the workforce by becoming aware of various skills, managing the integration of these skills and employees, and teaching by using immersive real world learning activities. The Human+ workforce features two core skills: human-AI collaboration and interoperability mindset. The future critical capabilities include eco-awareness, maker skills, mediation, megascale operations, mobility, risk aptitude, agile R&D, psycho-resilience, socio-technological insight, agentic AI management, and systems thinking.

This book shows that it is indeed possible to have a workforce that builds on AI innovation and human interaction and connection.

The Divine Feminine: From Awakening to Walking in Union by James Crompton 

This is a summary of the review. The full review can be found on Reader's Views website. The link is provided above.

James Crompton 's memoir, The Divine Feminine: From Awakening to Walking in Union, is a deeply personal and spiritual memoir about a man’s search for faith and finding it in the form of the Goddess Figure who appears within various mythologies and religions under different names.

Because the Divine Feminine takes many forms and names, she isn't limited to any one specific myth or religion. Crompton speaks of her as Mary, Sophia, Shakti, Kali, Lalitha and others. She can offer wisdom, sensuality, abundance, justice, beauty, maternity, shelter anything. 

This book can be seen as a starting point for those who are interested in other mythologies and spiritual paths to find a connection with a deity who represents some personal struggle. 

Crompton describes his own personal issues, the process of meditation, his vision of the Divine Feminine and in what form(s) she took, the message that she conveyed, and how he implemented it into his life. The solutions or messages weren't all quick fixes. Sometimes it took years to find answers, or led to a separate path than the one Crompton visualized. Mostly it took a lot of study, research, openness, understanding, and acceptance. 

The Forgotten Queer A Journey of Self-Discovery, Breaking Free, and Healing by Stella Mok: Tragic and Triumphant Memoir About Coming Out, Authenticity, and Living Ones Truth

 The Forgotten Queer A Journey of Self-Discovery, Breaking Free, and Healing by Stella Mok: Tragic and Triumphant Memoir About Coming Out, Authenticity, and Living Ones Truth 

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews 

Stella Mok’s book The Forgotten Queer: A Journey of Self-Discovery, Breaking Free, and Healing is a tragic and triumphant memoir about coming out, authenticity, and finding the physical and emotional space to live one's truth.

Mok’s writing style is both personal and informative. She summarizes and gives dry fact based accounts like most nonfiction authors and memoirists. But she also uses literary techniques like dialogue and internal thoughts in parts. This dual nature is a means to highlight the most important conflicts and themes within her story.

For example, most of the book is centered around Mok’s troubled relationship with her parents, Leandro and Nora. In the first chapter Mok, her siblings, and her father get into an argument about future plans and Leandro goes into a paragraph long diatribe about how women couldn't be doctors. This exchange is foreshadowed in her opening sentence, “I wish I were a boy.” 

This chapter and various other ones reveal the toxicity between Mok and her parents which went beyond cultural, generational, or gender conflicts. At one point, they use emotional blackmail to keep Mok’s sister tied to their family business. They also used various other means to keep Mok and her siblings under their control. It's a troubling environment that one does not thrive so much as be fortunate enough to survive.

Mok lived in a tight, oppressed, and psychologically abusive atmosphere in which Mok did not only have to suppress her true self, she had to pretend that it never existed to begin with. One where the freedom to be honest with herself was treated as a luxury that she could not afford so it couldn't exist. At one point she realizes this by thinking, “I had to fight for my life, or end up losing what I worked so hard for.”

This fighting for her life also played into Mok’s sexuality and various relationships. An early romance ended because Mok was uncertain about pursuing a full romantic relationship with another girl. She also had a long term relationship with another woman who had trouble reconciling her lesbianism with her religious beliefs.

Throughout the book, Mok used different means to find her own inner strength and personal happiness. Two of the most triumphant moments occur when she wrote letters to her parents dealing with their deficiencies in parenting while also forgiving them and herself. These gestures show someone who is ready to move on into the next step in life. 

This and other actions moved her to a more positive path that led to a new more honest and fulfilling life. She had to break the cycle that her family gave her and heal herself.

Gravity Flow The Jimmy Whistler Stories by EM Schorb, Walk With Me One Hundred Days of Crazy by Ernesto H Lee, Penthesilea Rise of An Amazon by Stephanie Vanise, The Bluestockings A History of The First Women's Movement by Susannah Gibson, Violeta by Nikki Roman

Gravity Flow: The Jimmy Whistler Stories by EM Schorb, Walk With Me: One Hundred Days of Crazy by Ernesto H Lee, Penthesilea: Rise of An Amazon by Stephanie Vanise, The Bluestockings: A History of The First Women's Movement by Susannah Gibson, Violeta by Nikki Roman 

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews 

These are summaries. The full reviews can be found on Reader Views or MockingOwl Roost 

Reader Views 

Gravity Flow: The Jimmy Whistler Stories by EM Schorb 

This is a seriocomic anthology of various moments in the life of Jimmy Whistler, a writer, in the 50's-60's.

The covers Jimmy's troubled childhood, his time working in a burlesque theater, military career, writing career, his friends, lovers, children, and other important experiences.

Characterization is this book's strongest asset. Jimmy's experiences are told by various vignettes that describe events in his life. He encounters many eccentric characters including a burlesque performer, a Beatnik poet, and different lovers.

The book is told through Jimmy's point of view so we see the world through his eyes. Most of the characters are broad, farcical, and bizarre. Jimmy's narrative voice is arrogant, impulsive, but always fascinating.

 

Walk With Me One Hundred Days of Crazy by Ernesto H. Lee

This is a powerful evocative novel about life, love, death, and learning to appreciate life.

Mark Rennie and Karen McKenzie are both dying. Instead of just waiting for the inevitable, they decide to spend 100 days traveling and enjoying themselves before the end.

The book is a descriptive travel guide of different experiences like dancing in Cuba, walking across the Great Wall of China, and swimming with sharks in Cancun. It is a scenic itinerary of exciting adventures and experiences.

It also captures how people face death in different ways. Some want to do everything medically possible to prolong their lives while others would rather face death on their own terms. There is no one way to face this conflict and all are valid.

Penthesilea: Rise of An Amazon by Stephanie Vanise 

This is a powerful and gripping Historical Fiction novel about a young Amazon, Penthesilea during the Trojan War.

She is third of four daughters of the Queen of Amazon. Penthesilea lives in the shadow of her other sisters and struggles to find her own identity in war.

Various characters and events from Greek Mythology appear including Hippolyta, Hercules, Paris, Helen of Troy, and Achilles. They are made more complex in this adaptation as Vanise captures their psyches and inner conflicts.

Penthesilea in particular is looking for recognition in a powerful war like family. She strives to empower herself and stand out. She strives to be one of a kind not one of hundreds.

MockingOwl Roost 

The Bluestockings: A History of The First Women's Movement by Susannah Gibson 

This is a fascinating Historical Nonfiction account of the Bluestockings, a group of 18th century women who hosted salons, encouraged creative talents, and discussed politics, philosophy and other topics in which women were discouraged from discussing.

These women supported one another in their creative pursuits like writing and art. These were women whose voices might otherwise have not been heard. They also had unconventional lives where some married supportive men, had Lesbian relationships, or opted not to marry at all.

The Bluestockings did not last very long but they were an influence for many women like Jane Austen, Mary Wollstonecraft, and Elizabeth Gaskell who in turn inspired the various waves of Feminism. Women's History would have been very different without them.

Violeta by Nikki Roman 

This is a Gothic Literature novel that focuses on child abuse, trauma, and finding ones personal power and independence.

Violet Valentine is isolated by her mother who keeps her secluded from the outside world. Her only contact is with her brother, Tommy. The toxic situation explodes when their mother puts both children'a lives in danger.

Violeta involves the anxieties that are found in families particularly between parents and children and siblings. The Valentine Family engage in continuous conflict, emotional and psychological instability, and fragile dysfunction. 

The siblings are confined and battered by their mother’s volatile and abusive behavior so they can only rely on each other. They support each other to break from her, recognize their comfort, strength, and independence, and find sanctuary and a real home.

In Search of Rain From Motel Qu to Pittsburgh by Syed Nourashrafeddin; Memoir About War, Hardship, Education, Trauma, and Happiness

In Search of Rain From Motel Qu to Pittsburgh by Syed Nourashrafeddin; Memoir About War, Hardship, Education, Trauma, and Happiness

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews 

 In Search of Rain From Motel Qu to Pittsburgh is Syed Nourashrafeddin’s detailed, emotional, inspirational, moving, and meaningful memoir. It covers topics like war, revolution, addiction, trauma, illness, immigration, and the pursuit of academic and financial success and personal happiness.

Nourashrafeddin’s life began in Iran during a tumultuous time in the country’s history. ’He was five years old during the 1979 revolution. He was too young to remember life before the Revolution and knows it from elder’s memories and documentation. They described that life as joyful and filled with vitality. They could drink and smoke in public. Women were free to pursue career opportunities. Artists and singers expressed themselves without censorship. 

All of that changed when the Ayatollahs stepped in. Nourashrafeddin’s description of a country deprived of everything that they once had like destroyed cinemas and clubs, banned music and art, women completely covered is completely heartbreaking. Even as a child, Nourashrafeddin felt that something wasn't right in a country that deprived its people of so much and used their limited interpretation of the Islamic religion to enforce and justify it.

 It wasn't the religion itself that created it because Islam was Iran’s primary religion before the Revolution. It was because the country was taken over by a sect of religious extremists with a very limited narrow view of what their religion meant and demanded that the people follow it.

Nourashrafeddin also grew up during the Iran-Iraq War and he effectively describes the after effects of a childhood in war. He bluntly describes the War as “a war for nothing.” The places where he and his childhood friends pretended to shoot each other in games were demolished by adults who really did shoot each other.

 His descriptions of a city practically annihilated with destroyed buildings, sounds of explosions and air strikes, food shortages, wounded neighbors, and casualties during a futile and needless war are unsettling.

There was also war brewing at home as well. Nourashrafeddin and his eight siblings were raised by an introverted passive mother and an outdoorsy temperamental father who was addicted to opium and heroin, “a world of smoke and addiction,” as his son wrote. His father’s addiction spiraled out of control as he lost his wife, youth, job, money, and eventually freedom to the disease. 

The conflicts at home and outside during the war showed chaos, anxiety, and trauma on all sides. It would be enough to drive anyone to despair and Nourashrafeddin revealed a lot of inner strength and determination to survive it.

Through education, Nourashrafeddin discovered his passion. Starting out as a lackluster student, he became interested in receiving a letter of recommendation to study mathematics and experimental sciences in high school. His goal was to become a doctor to earn respect, serve his community, and care for his family.

 He succeeded in school all the way to receiving a PhD in Molecular Medicine. He also obtained practical experience working in different fields like the military, administrative work in the Health Department, and worked in various medical and science laboratories, classrooms, departments, and fields.

His tireless pursuit of academic success and commitment to education is revealing, depicting him as someone who asked questions, hypothesized, theorized, researched, read, studied, measured, and shared his results. In other words, someone who was born to be a scientist but needed a slight nudge in that direction. Once he received that nudge, he excelled in the field. 

Nourashrafeddin’s adulthood was as eventful as his youth. Financial problems and overwork contributed to friction in an early marriage that ended in divorce. He was imprisoned after not paying alimony and upon release was temporarily homeless and destitute. He had vitiligo which lightened his skin and isolated him further. 

During that time, he indulged in hobbies like mountaineering and traveling to gain some perspective and a new outlook. He also had a better second marriage, found career success in Genetics, and eventually emigrated to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

This section reveals that during times of difficulty that are out of one's control, it's important to find positive interests and relationships and that clear the mind, soothe the soul, and lead to personal happiness. It's also important to search for and find new directions in life that provide challenges and propel one to move forward.

Nourashrafeddin’s memoir is about a man who lived through much trauma, sadness, happiness, and success. He told his story so Readers can find ways to push past their own traumas and find their own personal success and happiness.

Keep On Glowing Your Guide to Graceful Empowerment and Unstoppable Glow by Robin Emtage; The Belgian Girls by Kathryn Atwood; Mission: Red Scythe by C.W. James

Keep On Glowing Your Guide to Graceful Empowerment and Unstoppable Glow by Robin Emtage; The Belgian Girls by Kathryn Atwood; Mission: Red Scythe by C.W. James

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews 

Keep On Glowing: Your Guide to Graceful Empowerment and Unstoppable Glow by Robin Emtage 

 Every woman has a fire, power source, inside that is forged by resilience, wisdom, and unstoppable feminine force. Some call this fire a glow. All women have it but not all are aware of it or use it to its fullest potential. Sometimes it fades over time or is buried under years, sometimes decades, of conditioning. It can dim and fade away into nothingness if not nurtured and cared for. Robin Emtage, beauty stylist, holistic glow expert, and founder of Silktage Tropical Inspired Beauty Products, wrote Keep On Glowing: Your Guide to Graceful Empowerment and Unstoppable Glow to help inspire women to discover and retain that glow throughout their lives.

Emtage’s Keep on Glowing Method consists of five pillars: Radiant Mindset, Sacred Self Care, Glow Rituals, Protective Boundaries, and Unapologetic Expression. Emtage describes this method as one that is designed to help readers return to themselves with grace, confidence, and an unstoppable glow.

Each chapter focuses on different concepts like creating a bold mindset for lasting radiance, practicing self-compassion for inner glow, gaining confidence and beauty that blossoms with age, reclaiming inner power, protecting glow in relationships, giving permission to shine, glowing forward and inspire, aging with intention and conscious glowing, using age-defying rituals, crafting a glow that lasts, building momentum through small deadly wins,practicing the art of saying no and creating boundaries, reimagining radiance and recognizing beauty beyond the mirror, building the life that you deserve, designing a life that radiates inside and out, and glowing forward. 

The book features advice and wisdom that is clearly explained with encouraging words. For example “Chapter 2: Be Your Own Best Friend: Self-Compassion for Inner Glow,” has words about “The Foundation of Self-Compassion, “The Glow Killing Inner Critic,” and “The Glow Boosting Power of Self-Talk.” “The Power of Self-Talk” section suggests ways of verbally turning negative self-criticism into positive and encouraging affirmations. For example, instead of saying, “I’m bad at this,” Emtage suggests changing the limiting sentence to “I’m learning and every step makes me better.”

Activities inspire readers to list their concerns, ways that can be improved, and identifying positive attributes. For example “Chapter 3: Embrace Your Radiance: Confidence and Beauty That Blossoms With Age”, includes various rituals, writing exercises, and actions that help guide the inner glow to shine. For example “Radiate Gratitude: Unleashing the Glow of Appreciation”, suggests that readers write down one thing that they like about themselves to remind them that they are worthy of admiration and respect especially from themselves. 

The chapters also include Glow Actions and Affirmations as final takeaways to preserve the inner glow. “Chapter 4: Reclaim Your Feminine Power: Unlocking Your True Glow” includes a Glow Action of writing a letter to oneself declaring a commitment to living fully in their power. They are encouraged to reveal what they will no longer tolerate, what they will say yes to, and to read the letter whenever they feel their light dimming. The Glow Affirmation for this chapter is “I reclaim my glow with every choice, every boundary, and every act of self-love.” 

The Belgian Girls by Kathryn J. Atwood

This is a summary of the review. The full reviews can be found on LitPick.

The Belgian Girls tells two stories. It combines the adventures of two women, a real life figure and a fictional character from the two different World Wars, to tell an intergenerational story of courage, sacrifice, freedom, heroism, and rebellion against oppression. 

The first chronological one is the true story of Gabrielle “Gaby” Petit, a barmaid in pre-WWI Belgium. Infuriated by the presence of German soldiers in her country, she organizes a spy network to pass information and defeat her country’s enemies. The second story, the fictionalized account, is that of Julienne Gobert, newly arrived in Brussels with her widowed father. She hears the story of Gaby Petit and is inspired to also become a spy and Resistance fighter against the Nazis as they devour the country around her. 

The stories perfectly merge together with characters, plot threads, and situations that link the two together. For example both protagonists were recently hit with trauma even before their involvement with the war efforts.The traumas leave these young women feeling unprotected in a changing world that is becoming more complicated but also tests their resilience, independence, and willingness to challenge their surroundings. 

The dual narration of the book shows how important it is to look to the past and learn how to live during tough times. Those tough times bring out the best in both women. Gabrielle, who lived a hard existence, learns to empathize with others and fight for her country. Julienne is pulled from her previous mousy timid nature and is moved by Gaby’s story. She becomes bolder and more courageous during times of danger. Both women are willing to fight and die if they have to.

The stories of Gabrielle Petit and Julienne Gobert remind us that one of the best ways to survive tough times of war, violence, tyranny, death, oppression, and poverty is to look to the past and how others lived during them, adapted to their surroundings, fought against them, and became heroes. Perhaps in doing so they can become heroes in the present.

Mission: Red Scythe (A James Vagus Thriller) by C.W. James

This is a summary of the review. The full review is on LitPick.

This book combines the flashy colorful adventures of a Ian Fleming James Bond novel with the duplicitous realistic tension of a John LeCarre novel.

In 1965, orphaned James Vagus is given an interesting offer. John Smith represents MIS-X the mysterious benefactor of James’ education. Smith notes James’ youth, good looks, amiable but reserved personality, and affinity for languages. MIS-X is looking for young recruits to go to places where the youth hang out like concerts, colleges, and class trips and gather information unobtrusively. In other words they are looking for teen spies. James is the perfect potential spy. He accepts the proposal, is given a partner Dakota Walker, and receives his first major assignment. He is to trail Otto Stradt, a corrupt businessman with ties to Eastern Europe. This assignment leads James and Dakota straight to a conspiracy involving scientists studying the potential of killer biology and the governments who will pay top dollar for such research. 

 James and Dakota are spies with all of the gorgeous locations, beautiful people, and cool toys and gadgets but also have an awareness that the governments that one works for can’t always be trusted, that agents can be quickly betrayed, and murder is never far away.

There is a seedy underside to this seemingly glamorous world, a seedy underside that young adults in their late teens and whose brains haven’t been fully developed are being thrown into. 

There is a constant awareness of death and betrayal that surrounds the characters. Even the characters that are on each other’s side may not be completely trustworthy as these young characters are encouraged to do everything they can lie, steal, have affairs, break laws, and murder to please their country and allies. There are moments that if the characters don’t expect betrayal from the presumed good guys, the reader might.

The only real true honest bond is that between James and Dakota. There are moments when one is captured, the other is willing to go through extremes to rescue them even if they risk blowing their cover. In this world of dishonesty, corruption, secrets, and murder the most honest moment is when the two partners acknowledge not only their friendship but also their brotherhood.

The War on Love: The Origin Story of Love Has Won and the Rise of Mother God by Andrew-Ryan Profaci; A Powerful Memoir About Cults, Deification, and Love of Others and Oneself

 The War on Love: The Origin Story of Love Has Won and The Rise of Mother God by Andrew-Ryan Profaci; A Powerful Memoir About Cults, Deification, and Love of Others and Oneself 

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews 

This review is also on Reedsy Discovery.

The Love Has Won cult is one of the most bizarre cults particularly with how it ended according to Andrew-Ryan Profaci’s expose, The War on Love: The Origin Story of Love Has Won and The Rise of Mother God.

To understand this book is to understand the cult itself, its leader Amy Carlson, its origins and its controversies. Between 2000-2007, Carlson became interested in New Age philosophy and participated in the Lightworker forums. There she met Robert Saltsgiver AKA Amerith WhiteEagle who introduced Carlson to paranormal phenomena and believed that she was divine. In late 2007, Carlson left her third husband, children, and her job as a McDonald’s manager in Dallas, Texas. She ceased contact with her family and left to join WhiteEagle in Colorado to form the Galactic Federation of Light, later known as Love Has Won. 

The Love Has Won cult did daily live streams on Youtube and even though Carlson had 12-20 members living with her in her Crestone,Colorado home at any given time, most of the members were contacted through social media. Their philosophies were an amalgam of New Age practices, elements from Abrahamic religions, conspiracy theories, and popular culture. One of their strongest tenets was the removal of ego to ascend into a pure spiritual being of love and energy. They believed that Carlson was the latest incarnation of a 19 billion year old being who gave birth to all of creation, whose other past lives included the queen of the fabled lost continent of Lemuria, Jesus, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, and Marilyn Monroe and that she would lead people into a mythical 5th Dimension. Carlson was called Mother God and she had a revolving door of lovers, including WhiteEagle (who left in 2014) and Profaci, each of whom took the title of Father God. Carlson believed that she could communicate with a number of deceased celebrities like Robin Williams, Whitney Houston, and Rodney Dangerfield. Love Has Won also spoke of concepts like Atlantis, Anunnaki, and Reptilians. 

While most of their beliefs seem bizarre and outlandish, but mostly harmless, they also developed more hateful and violent rhetoric especially before Carlson’s death in 2021. They were believers in the now debunked QAnon conspiracy theory. A. bitterly ironic conspiracy theory that espoused that Donald Trump led a secret war against pedophiles, considering the recent implications that Trump himself was engaged in pedophilia with disgraced and deceased financier Jeffrey Epstein and his henchwoman Ghislaine Maxwell. Love Has Won also believed other conspiracy theories such as that COVID 19 and the Sandy Hook school shooting massacre were hoaxes, and in 9/11 and Holocaust denials. They followed many racist and antisemitic tenets such as the Great Replacement Theory, globalist cabals, and support for Adolf Hitler.

The cult faced allegations from ex-members citing practices like physical abuse, sleep deprivation and mental torture. Despite having a zero tolerance policy for drugs and alcohol, Carlson was frequently intoxicated and addicted herself. The group travelled between Colorado, Oregon, California, Florida, and Hawaii between 2018-2021. Carlson was diagnosed with cancer in 2020 and due to the cult’s caveat against doctors, her worshippers refused to send her to the hospital or get her medical treatment. She was last seen in public on April 10, 2021 and is believed to have died on April 28, 2021.

Carlson’s mummified corpse was discovered in the mission house near Crestone. She was found in a sleeping bag wrapped in Christmas lights and her face was covered in glitter as a makeshift shrine. The state of decay revealed that she had been dead for weeks. Seven members were charged with abuse of a corpse and child abuse because there were two children in the compound. The members revealed that Carlson consumed colloidal silver which the cult promoted as a cure for COVID-19 and resulted in her having an emaciated frame, thinning hair, and blue-gray discoloration on her skin. Her cause of death was reported as “global decline in the setting of alcohol abuse, anorexia, and chronic colloidal silver ingestion.” After her death, remaining cult members separated and formed splinter groups including Joy Rains and 5D Full Disclosure. 

The story of Love Has Won itself is a twisted tale of divine worship, mental manipulation, and belief gone horribly wrong. Profaci’s memoir takes us inside a personal journey into a cult and specifically their leader whom he felt equal parts fascination, fear, love, and loathing.

Profaci lived a life marked by loss and endless searching. A tempestuous divorce and custody battle put him and his brothers in the hands of their father who had a criminal history. Profaci’s nights were as rocked with tension as his days when even as a child he was awakened by hypnopompic hallucinations of dark creatures standing at the foot of his bed. These incidents caused years of sleep disorders and a belief in the paranormal, supernatural, and conspiracy theories. This and his father’s neglect and escalating verbal abuse led to Profaci feeling lost, insecure, and curiosity about the deeper issues like his place in the world.His teenage years were rocked with criminal activity, being almost molested by a pedophile, and getting involved in a fatal car accident. He fell even further down the spiral and became addicted to painkillers. A person facing addiction, trauma, insecurities, depression, is open to ethereal and terrifying paranormal experiences, and searches for existential quests for meaning is a perfect candidate for culthood and Profaci was no exception.

 A search down various spiritual paths, communicating with gurus, reading New Age books, and exploring believer websites, and message boards led him right to Amy Carlson, The Mother God. Profaci was attracted to Carlson’s youthful exuberance, enchanting charisma, mystical beliefs, and the two struck up a correspondence and friendship. He paid for and attended online sessions with Carlson and her group and became aware of signs around him that at the time seemed supernatural. After a job loss, he decided to go see Carlson in person.

Profaci’s memoirs are notable because of what they include but also what they leave out. Profaci left the group long before Love Has Won got involved with QAnon and focused on conspiracy theories, antisemitism, and racism. He only heard about those second hand after communicating with other ex-members. He also was a witness primarily to verbal abuse and the occasional physical abuse but was no longer a member during the torture sessions. Above all, he cut ties with Love Has Won completely by 2021 and was in the hospital for chemotherapy when he heard about Carlson’s death and display of her mummified corpse. Because of this Love Has Won is seen strictly through his eyes and personal experiences. It leaves out many parts to the story, most notably the most newsmaking, graphic, and sensationalistic aspects. 

What remains is a deeply personal human story about how one person is drawn into a cult but most importantly what keeps them there after all common sense should have told them to leave. In Profaci’s case, it boils down to a simple reason. He was in love with its leader. Their first face-to-face meeting illustrates this point. Profaci expected the warm, empathetic, wise, enthusiastic, charming guru with whom he communicated online. What he got instead was a fragile, sickly, intoxicated woman half asleep and fallen over in drunkenness. He suspected then and there that Carlson was a fraud but his empathy for this woman in her shattered state compelled him to remain.

There is considerable doubt whether Profaci ever believed in Love Has Won’s philosophies or not. Most of the time, he comes across as a detached deadpan snarker. Recalling his decision to remain with Love Has Won despite his disastrous first meeting with the presumed Mother God, Profaci writes, “I didn’t know how far this ‘awakening’ would push me or how much of myself I’d have to lose just to keep up. But I knew one thing: This path does not offer refunds. You paid with your soul or turned back empty-handed. So I paid.”

When Carlson declared Profaci to be her lover and latest Father God, he was nonplussed and did not look at this promotion with honor. Recalling the previous Father Gods who came and went before him, Profaci wondered, “What did that make me? Father God #3? 4? 5?”

What stands out the most in this book is Profaci’s devotion to Carlson herself not to her Mother God persona but to Amy, the human woman who was just as lost and just as confused as he was, built a spiritual path to find her solutions, and got swept up in her own delusions.

Profaci’s empathy for his leader is most prominent during the frequent power struggles among members. A compelling conflict involved Profaci and another member KG who slowly climbed the ranks to become a Healer and part of a threesome with Carlson and Profaci. 

After KG’s ascension, the cult’s forums became flooded with messages from divine beings called Quantums. Through KG’s encouragement, Carlson believed the Quantums were real and began to rely on their unquestionable authority. As the group’s online conversations with the Quantums increased so did their claims and personalities. One of the Quantums claimed to be Robin Williams and Carlson actually claimed to represent Williams through visions and meditations. 

The book The War on Love includes transcripts of the conversations between the Quantum Beings and Love Has Won members. It’s perfectly clear that they, specifically Carlson, were in the grips of a widespread delusion and were willing to follow it through to the end. The irony that the leader of one delusion can be so swept up in a completely separate one cannot be understated. Sometimes the most manipulative can be the most easily manipulated by others. It shows how the assistants learn from and surpass the master in cruelty.

That’s what happened between Carlson and the Quantum Beings. Profaci had doubts about the whole experience. At first he wanted to give the Quantums the benefit of the doubt, however inconsistencies in their teachings and Carlson’s reliance on KG to facilitate the conversations with them aroused his suspicions. After some investigation and soul searching, Profaci revealed the truth that KG completely fabricated the Quantum’s existence and communications in an attempt to seize power within the cult. 

The Quantum Account is important to Profaci’s involvement with Love Has Won for many reasons. Among them is that it shows Profaci’s inner conflict between his doubts about cult doctrine and protective affection for Carlson. As Carlson came to terms with KG’s deception, Profaci comforted her. He almost broke her from her Mother God delusion to accept herself as Amy. He saw the glimpses of the real woman underneath the mask of confidence and alleged divinity and tried to convince her to accept and love her real self. Unfortunately, other members had private conversations with her and the mask slipped back on and firmly stayed on. The vulnerable woman that Profaci was anxious about was replaced by the remote and unapproachable Mother God and Profaci was not going to get her back.

It also was one of the first incidents that caused doubts about the cult and led to Profaci’s abandonment of them. Eventually those doubts would increase as Carlson insisted that he was full of ego. Any question of authority, any slight infraction, any disagreement was seen as ego and selfishness getting in the way. However, Profaci became aware of the hypocrisy of her words when the whole cult was built on her ego that said that she was the Mother of All Creation and Love Incarnate. Eventually, Profaci could no longer reconcile his concern for Carlson with his criticisms for Love Has Won. Disillusioned, Profaci eventually left the cult and his former girlfriend/guru behind.

Profaci never writes Carlson as a manipulator, con artist, or someone who wanted to fool innocent victims solely for financial gains. The monetary benefits were there and she clearly enjoyed her rule over innocent people but Profaci also saw someone who was in serious need of love, acceptance, and belonging. In fact, he saw Carlson as someone who genuinely wanted to believe that she was who she said she was. She repeated her claims of being a Mother God so often that she thought that they were true. It was a means of gaining some psychological and spiritual hold and control in her life. Her dangerous ego pushed her into a dark path that she created but could no longer separate from. By the end, there was no division between Amy Carlson and Mother God. She became the illusion that she created and fell in love with it. 

Profaci’s book is a profound look at love. His love for Amy Carlson kept him in a dangerous place, but it was his discovery of love for himself that broke him out and set him free.

Justified Anger by Jennifer Colne; Sobering Account of the Effects of Molestation and Incest on a Family

 Justified Anger by Jennifer Colne; Sobering Account of the Effects of Molestation and Incest on a Family 

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews 

Spoilers: It can be difficult for a family when one of their members is the victim of a crime. Sometimes the crime affects more than just the one who was hurt. It can affect everyone around them and fill them with feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, trauma, denial, and activism. Worse than that would be if the perpetrator was a family member as well. The actions and consequences can split a family apart as they take sides.

That is the situation faced by Jennifer Colne in her memoir, Justified Anger. This is a sobering, and unnerving book about the effects of child molestation and incest on her family.

Colne begins her book describing the troubles facing her daughters in 2001 when her eldest Katherine had been hospitalized for mental health problems and her younger daughter, Emma, lost custody of her children in a draining court battle with her abusive ex. This custody fight would lead to Emma being hospitalized as well after a suicide attempt and severe flashbacks. During one of these flashbacks Emma revealed that she was raped by her Uncle David. Later Katherine confessed that the same thing happened to her. David was arrested and charged with counts of rape, attempted rape, and sexual assault. Unfortunately that's not the end of the story. Emma was convinced that she was blocking something from her mind. After a few years and a second marriage, Emma remembered what it was. She was not only raped and molested by her Uncle but by her father, Steve as well.

Colne’s intense descriptions of her daughters' abuse and the aftermath including their fractured mental states reach into the Reader’s souls and understand the pain that this family went through and in many ways are still going through. The abusers left their marks leaving their victims in fragile states unable to cope with many of the stresses in their lives. 

It wasn't just the initial crime of sexual assault that made David and Steve monsters. It was the continuous after effects that created a lifetime of trauma from two innocent girls who were hurt by men that they should have trusted to protect and love them. Katherine and Emma suffered physical, mental, and emotional scars that never fully healed as they got older. They were in tears, raged, and engaged in self harm and addictive behaviors. 

One of the most painful chapters occurs years later when Emma, surrounded by her mother, children, and husband, regresses to a childlike state. Her memories of her childhood were muddled with those of her children. She couldn't separate the past from the present, referred to people in her children's lives by names of people that she knew as a child, could not recall recent memories, or recognize her children in their photos. Skills that she was adept in like cooking became unknown to her. She regressed to a mental child in an adult body. Steve not only robbed his daughter of her childhood by molesting her. He and his brother in law robbed her of her adulthood by replacing a fulfilled life of a good career, happy marriage, secure home, loving children with one of terror, fractured mental states, impulsive dangerous behavior, and internal misery. 

David and especially Steve did more long term damage. They didn't just destroy Katherine and Emma. They broke apart their whole family. Even though the sisters were on the same side in accusing and charging David, they stood on opposite sides when it came to Steve. Colne supported Emma's account recalling earlier moments of sexual, verbal, and physical abuse that her former husband inflicted on her. That was more than Katherine did.

Katherine refused to accept that her own father raped her sister. She claimed that Emma was a liar and was trying to get attention. It is bizarre that a woman who had been sexually assaulted by one family member and developed emotional and psychological problems would not be more empathetic towards her sister who had been going through the same thing. Emma’s state clearly showed that she had been abused if not by their father then by somebody. But unlike her mother who recognized the signs and confirmed Emma's account, Katherine blatantly ignored them and defiantly venerated her father.

Katherine's denial might have been a means to protect herself psychologically and might have been understandable. But the volatile extremes that she went through to discredit Emma are less defensible. She not only purposely sided with her father but influenced other family members to do the same such as her and Emma's younger brother Colne's son, Liam and Emma's own estranged children. They cut not only Emma out of their lives but Colne as well removing themselves of a sister, niece, and mother but also a mother, aunt, and grandmother. 

We don't get any understanding of Katherine's transition from defender and fellow victim to antagonist because it is told by Colne and she clearly doesn't know either. There might be speculation from the Reader but nothing known or said. Instead, Katherine and the rest of Steve's defenders having so much vehement animosity towards his accusers can be seen as yet another crime that can be laid at Steve's feet.

Justified Anger is a realistic book about trauma. People don't always recover after one hospitalization or breakthrough. It sometimes takes many stays and they can exhibit the same behaviors for years and even decades afterwards. Sometimes perpetrators don't get the punishment that they deserve. Sometimes the story doesn't end with hugs and reconciliation. Sometimes it ends with making peace with oneself and that's how Colne ends her book. Her family is still broken. Emma may still have psychological problems. Katherine is still estranged from the rest of the family. But Colne and Emma have made peace with themselves and have strengthened their connections as mother and daughter.

For now, that's enough.