By Julie Sara Porter
Bookworm Reviews
Spoilers: Tracy Smith's The Purpose of Getting Lost is a detailed and introspective memoir about Smith discovering herself through travel.
Smith survived a childhood of rejection, and an adulthood of divorce, the departure of her kids, the fading of old friendships, extensive surgery, physical pain, and mental health crises. At age 49, she booked a flight to Iceland and kept on going afterwards to other countries. She didn't consider travel an escape but a “way to stitch (herself) together and pay tributes to the part that (she) had ignored for so long.”
One of the most interesting aspects of the book are the icons that appear before each chapter to reveal what elements Smith explored during that particular part of the trip. They consist of mountains to indicate Adventure, fire for Community, a tornado for Risk, an elephant for Acceptance, a lighthouse for Confidence, and a bird for Freedom. These icons indicate that Smith was not traveling just for fun or just to be a tourist. She intended to challenge herself and explore aspects to her personality that helped her become a more fulfilled person.
Smith’s first trip to Norway and Iceland was a risky endeavor. Since it was largely unplanned, she walked around the terminal trying to figure out where to go, how to use her phone, and how to find a bus to Reykjavik. This reveals that a trip made by impulse often has its drawbacks and sometimes relies on guesswork, patience, and asking people.
Since it was her first couple of days, Smith's primary emotions, uncertainty and exhaustion, marred her first views of Reykjavik. She was looking forward to this journey but was also overwhelmed by the choices, the new surroundings, and anxiety. She recovered enough to go to a nearby bar dressed in Buffalo Bills attire and struck up a conversation with a fellow sports fan. This chance meeting soothed her uncertainty by reminding her that seeing new sights and meeting people are worth the risk of traveling alone.
Smith’s sense of adventure was tested when she visited Doha, United Arab Emirates during the World Cup. Surrounded by people, Smith felt several anxieties about such things as being kidnapped or getting lost. She silenced her fear by pausing and looking at the people and sights around. Instead of returning to the hotel, she stopped to enjoy herself. This was her trip and her adventure so she reasoned that she might as well make the best of it.
The adventure continued as Smith entered a mosh pit consisting of soccer fans. Caught up in the excitement of the crowd, she joined them cheering, clapping, and celebrating. Some men even lifted her up and pushed her over a gate into a restaurant that she wanted to eat at. This was an experience in facing large crowds and finding a sense of adventure in an unfamiliar place and surrounded by unfamiliar people. While she faced many natural elements and risky tours, the fear of crowds and unknown places can be filled by anyone going on any trip. It is an adventure to face those fears as much as mountain climbing or bungee jumping.
Smith’s solo trips were an experience in acceptance. Before, she often made decisions that involved other people, but this journey was a practice in self-care and reliance. Her trip to Costa Rica with her daughter was a relaxing journey but Smith had to accept that her daughter was growing up and therefore so should she. Her journey to Croatia was much more difficult because it involved a fracturing relationship. Her time in Croatia was cut short because she and her boyfriend broke up. She had to accept that loss and move on.
This relationship and its end left her with a choice to visit a friend in Italy who was going through her own issues and risk hurting her with the pace or go to Portugal alone and allow her friend to heal. She chose Portugal recognizing that her friend needed rest and not the stress of travel and that Smith herself needed some time alone to sort through her troubled relationships. This allowed her to accept herself by herself.
Smith was often a planner and often made itineraries and lists. While that can be good for travel especially in the early stages, it can limit the spontaneity and surprises that come with travel. Smith’s time in Koh Samui, Thailand taught her to enjoy freedom. She viewed a waterfall with a tour group that she stumbled upon and was in awe of the sight that she might have missed if she stuck to a plan.
Most of that time on the island was spent relaxing and not sight seeing. Smith rested in the hotel, read her Kindle, went swimming, shopped nearby, and observed people around her. The relaxation and freedom of living in the moment was just as important for her as the times where she took tours, participated in adventures, and interacted with others.
Not all of Smith’s trips were solo adventures. As previously stated, she traveled with her daughter, son, ex, and friends. She also interacted with strangers forming a large global community of friends and family around the world. Traveling to Greece with her friends Stacey and Cheryl illustrated the importance of community especially when traveling. The three friends booked separate rooms, had a loose itinerary, and spent some time by themselves. Ironically, their solo time deepened their connections to each other because they had space to breathe and their time together was much more engaging.
Another journey with her friend Carmen also taught Smith about forming community with others. Carmen introduced her friend to her family in Puerto Rico who accepted Smith as one of their own. She had meals with them, conversed with Carmen’s aunts and uncles, and was embraced by their warmth and hospitality. She arrived as a stranger but left as a surrogate niece and cousin.
Smith’s travels were exercises in persistence and confidence. She endured many hard and difficult journeys such as climbing pyramids, hiking through the jungle, and visiting Machu Picchu. She realized that these dangerous trips were tests of her persistence and ability to survive them.
Many of her experiences tested her endurance. Once in Belize, her group had to climb 130 steps. Even though she sweated, her legs cramped, and she doubted herself, Smith made the climb. She said that “the climb wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t graceful but it was mine.” This was true confidence in herself and her journey.
Traveling around the world gave Smith several opportunities to encounter new places, meet new people, learn some important lessons, test her strength and endurance, take risks, practice self-care, live in the moment, and ultimately to find herself.
