The Sisters: The Saga of The Mitford Family by
Mary S. Lovell; Engaging Biography of Provocative, Controversial, Opinionated, and Unique Sisters
By Julie Sara Porter
Bookworm Reviews
There are many controversial wealthy families in the 20th and 21st century who made news because of their scandalous behavior, illegal activity, political involvement, entertainment value, or even just by having a prominent family name. One of those is the Mitford Family, a wealthy titled English family. Mary S. Lovell tells the story of this eccentric family particularly the six Mitford Sisters in her book, The Sisters: The Saga of The Mitford Family.
The Mitfords were shocking, provocative, controversial, divisive, opinionated, unique, and captivating women that interested, fascinated, and disgusted people with their behavior and involvement in the mid-20th century political, social, artistic, and cultural landscapes. They were the subject of books, movies, and miniseries. They recently appeared in episodes of Peaky Blinders and the miniseries Outrageous.
This book, The Sisters, captures their fascinating dynamic, diverse personalities, stormy private lives, and different views which drove many apart from each other. (On a personal note coming from a large family with mostly sisters, I have always been fond of reading about that bond between siblings particularly sisters. Those women who alternate between best friend and worst enemy for so many of us.)
The Mitfords were the children of David Freeman Mitford, 2nd Baron of Redesdale, Northumbria and his wife Sydney Bowles. They were a wealthy, accomplished and highly intelligent family whose maternal grandfather founded several influential magazines like British Vanity Fair and wrote historical biographies. They were also related to the Churchills.
The Mitford parents had different socio-political views which inspired their children in various ways, not all of them for the better. David was an ardent Conservative and held very traditional views particularly where women were concerned. Sydney later became a Fascist and spoke admirably about Hitler. This view would influence three of her children to catastrophic results.
The Mitford’s privileged upbringing shaped the children early on as their parents experimented with various approaches to childrearing. They raised eldest Nancy with few rules and restrictions but reverted to becoming more rigid with the younger children when they felt that Nancy was becoming too spoiled and argumentative. Because of David's rigid views about men and women, they home schooled the girls but sent their son, Tom, to public school in Eton. They were also raised largely in their family estate in rural Northumbria where their snobbish parents only wanted them to hang out with children of their class.
Because of the home schooling and isolated upbringing in the country, the sisters were largely self-taught. They were voracious readers and devoured the books in the family library. They also created their own activities like writing The Boiler, their own literary magazine and newspaper, developing their own secret society called The Hons (a nickname for hens), raising farm animals for pocket money, and creating a secret language that they called Boudelage. This busy thoughtful upbringing molded their creativity, shaped their independent thoughts, and honed their self reliance.
The Mitfords consisted of seven siblings, six sisters and one brother. They were:
Nancy (1904-1973)- One of my two favorite sisters in the family. The eldest, Nancy had a troubled relationship with her siblings because of her caustic teasing sense of humor and bossy nature. She took the lead in many of their activities like editing and publishing The Boiler, created various games, and gave her younger siblings nicknames.
Nancy and her sister Diana were part of the Bright Young Things of the Roaring Twenties and had a close friendship with author Evelyn Waugh. Nancy had a stormy love life consisting of a broken engagement with Hamish Erskine, a closeted peer, an unhappy marriage to Peter Rodd, an alcoholic politician, and an ongoing tempestuous love affair with Gaston Palewski, a womanizing French colonel.
Nancy's relationship with Palewski was particularly toxic as she became obsessed with him but he devalued and belittled her and was frequently unfaithful.
Nancy was a moderate Socialist though acknowledged her aristocratic upbringing. She was virulently against Fascism despite her mother and siblings’ support and took part in relief efforts for the war. During WWII, Nancy denounced her sister Diana who was an ardent open Fascist.
Nancy became a novelist. Her works included Highland Fling, a romp about Bright Young Things on vacation in Scotland and Wigs on the Green, a satire of the British Fascist movement particularly her brother in law Oswald Moseley. Her trilogy, Pursuit of Love, Love in a Cold Climate, and Don't Tell Alfred featured fictionalized versions of her family including her father, sisters, and other relatives. Her novels presented light hearted, mocking, and satirical accounts of the times and society in which she lived.
Eventually she moved to France where she wrote historical biographies about Madame de Pompadour, Emilie du Chatelet, and Frederick of Prussia and various satirical articles and essays mocking British aristocracy. She died of Hodgkin's Lymphoma after years of frequent pain and surgeries cared for by her younger sisters, Diana, Jessica, and Deborah.
Pamela (1907-1994), The second child, she was the more maternal figure in the children's lives when they were younger. She was frail in early years having developed polio but later became physically strong and healthy.
Nancy and the younger siblings often came to her for advice. Like her older sister, Pamela was a skilled organizer. Nancy influenced her siblings’ creativity but Pamela was more concerned about their practical needs. She began negotiations between her siblings and their father to increase their earnings from raising farm animals to the commercial average that actual farm workers were making. David was impressed by her research and nerve, so he acquiesced to the request.
Pamela married a physician named Derek Jackson which ended in divorce. She had no children but she and Derek briefly raised her sister Diana's children after she was arrested. She was also the subject of a poem by John Betjeman in which he called her “the most rural of them all.” She was flattered but turned down his marriage proposal.
Despite her marriage, Pamela was a lesbian. She fell in love with Giuditta Tommasi, an Italian horsewoman and lived with her for a time in Switzerland. After Guiditta’s death, Pamela remained in Switzerland until the last of their dogs died.
Unlike her involved siblings, Pamela largely stayed out of politics and spent much of her time in the country. She had a vast array of fur and feathered babies and managed farms in Ireland, Switzerland, and England. She became an expert on breeding chickens, even introducing new breeds into Britain. She appeared on television in agricultural themed documentaries and retrospectives about her family.
A lover of animals to the very end, Pamela's final words, before she succumbed to complications from falling down a flight of stairs, were asking which horse won the race the day before.
Tom (1909-1945)-He was the third child and only boy. He didn't get as much attention and wasn't as widely known as his more colorful sisters but was still a large presence in their youth and adulthood.
Because of his schooling, he was not as close to his sisters. He shared similar views to Diana, Unity, and their mother Sydney and despite very different opinions was very close to Jessica.
Tom was bisexual and had serious affairs with Eton classmate, James Lees-Milne and married dancer Tilly Losch. He also dabbled in Fascism before his death in WWII shortly before the war’s end.
Diana (1910-2003)-The fourth child and third daughter, she was considered a great beauty and social butterfly. She had a wide circle of friends, modeled, and posed for portraits. She was particularly fond of her cousin Winston Churchill who nicknamed her “Diana-mite.”
The three younger sisters treated her like the cool big sister that they could have fun with whereas bossy Nancy and motherly Pamela did not always suffice. Unity particularly worshipped her which was a factor in her own problems. Like her sister Nancy, Diana was part of the “Bright Young Things” social set of the 1920’s and had many friends and lovers among them.
Diana eventually married and divorced Bryan Guinness, heir to the Guinness Family. She also embraced Fascism and their views of racial superiority. She eventually met and began an affair with Sir Oswald Moseley, head of the British Union of Fascists. They later married after the death of Moseley's wife and became a very notorious couple. Their wedding was attended by Hitler and they considered him and his girlfriend, Eva Braun to be close friends. At one point, Diana was considered “Britain's Most Hated Woman.”
After the Germans invasion of Britain, the Moseleys were arrested and imprisoned leaving Pamela and her then husband Derek to raise their children. Upon their release, they were exiled and lived in South Africa for a time where their racist and nationalistic views were welcomed by the White Apartheid-supporters.
After Moseley's death, Diana wrote book reviews. One of her columns ended when the editor learned of her previous involvement with Fascism and Nazism and terminated her employment. Her columns and articles then mostly appeared in right wing journals. She also wrote nonfiction works about her husband and her close friends and acquaintances like Wallace Simpson, the Duchess of Windsor.
She later renounced many of her views but retained others such as her continued administration of Hitler. Many considered her words too little too late. She died of emphysema and heat exhaustion during the Paris heat wave of 2003.
Unity (1914-1948)-The fifth child and fourth daughter. She resorted to shocking and provocative behavior to be noticed among her loud and busy family and may have had mental health disorders. She did unusual things like release pet snakes and rats in public places to get attention.
Unity was particularly close to her sister, Jessica whom they referred to each other as “boud.” They communicated in their secret language Boudelage so well that they were not always understood by others. However they also had diverse views concerning the conflicts in the 1930s world in which they were raised.
Unity supported Nazism and admired Hitler while Jessica became a Communist and devotee of Lenin and Stalin. Supposedly, their bedroom was sharply divided with a German flag, swastikas, and pictures of Hitler on Unity's side and Soviet flag, hammers and sickles, and pictures of Lenin and Stalin on Jessica's.
There is some evidence that Unity was led to Fascism and eventually Nazism specifically because of her mother, brother, and older sister Diana's influence. That may have been true but her devotion became an obsession and paranoia. She openly spoke about and wrote Anti-Semitic views and was volatile when challenged.
Unity was obsessed with Adolf Hitler to the point of stalking him in Germany. They developed an affair during Hitler's temporary break up with long time lover, Eva Braun. It was a dangerous affair in which the leader infantilized and dominated her and she was submissive towards him.
Their affair ended when Unity attempted suicide via gunshot on the eve of the German invasion of Britain. She survived and returned to England in the care of her mother and younger sister, Deborah.
Unity suffered brain damage and amnesia. She fell into a childlike dependent state often requiring care. She may have had a brief passionate relationship with John Anderson, an RAF pilot but it ended quickly when he was reassigned and subsequently killed in battle. Unity eventually died of meningitis caused by cerebral swelling from the bullet.
Jessica or Decca (1917-1996)-My other favorite Mitford sister. The sixth child and fifth daughter, she was the most outspoken and rebellious child and wasn't afraid to challenge her parents and siblings. She argued with her father when she wanted to go to school and questioned her mother's insistence on only playing with children of their class.
As previously mentioned, Jessica and Unity were close but took directly opposite political views. Jessica read about the Great Depression, the union strikes, racism, and hunger marches. They stoked her social conscience. Her sympathies towards lower income people led her to embrace Communism to the detriment of the rest of the family.
She eventually eloped with Esmond Romily, himself an avowed Communist and a distant cousin of hers and Winston Churchill’s. The Romilys emigrated to Spain where they sided with the Loyalists or Republicans during the Spanish Civil War. They wrote articles denouncing the Nationalists, tested weapons, and argued with their family who insisted on Jessica's return. Eventually the Romilys left Spain and moved to London then the United States.
While in the United States, Jessica became involved in various causes. In lieu of their once close bond, Jessica continued to speak well of Unity, but she was antagonistic towards Diana. After Edmond’s death during the War, Jessica denounced her older sister saying that she and Moseley should be shot. (They only reconciled years later while caring for an ailing Nancy.)
Jessica eventually remarried a Civil Rights attorney named Robert Treuhaft and became heavily involved in American politics. She took part in protests to stop the execution of Willie McGee and refused to speak in front of the House of Un-American Activities.
Jessica, a self-described “professional muckraker” and investigative journalist wrote books and articles that explored her views in great detail and attacked various institutions and industries in Europe and the United States. Her books included, Hons and Rebels about her childhood, The American Way of Death (considered her most important work), attacking the funeral industry, The Trial of Dr. Benjamin Spock, The Rev. William Sloane Coffin Jr., Michael Ferber, Mitchell Goodman, and Marcus Ruskin, focusing on their protest against the Vietnam War and conspiracy to violate draft laws, Kind and Usual Punishment: The Prison Business attacking the American prison system, and The American Way of Birth, which criticized hospital care towards pregnant women, and articles about Southern attitudes about the Civil Rights movement for Esquire and decrying fraudulent correspondence course businesses for the Atlantic Monthly.
True to her negative views about the American funeral industry, when Jessica died, her funeral cost a mere $533.31 and her ashes were scattered at sea.
Deborah or Debo (1920-2014)-The youngest of the family, she was considered quiet and sweet tempered. She was often babied by her older siblings and went along with many of the older ones’ schemes.
Deborah's sympathetic nature towards her siblings continued through the adversities. Even after her family stood on opposite political sides, she retained close correspondences with all of them often serving as a bridge among them. Similar to Pamela, she largely stayed out of politics and her views shifted from Conservative to Social Democratic.
She was also the most sensitive and was greatly affected by her parents' separation when her father moved out of the Mitford home to an island off the west coast of Scotland and her mother remained on the estate. They reunited briefly when Unity returned. However they remained separated, unreconciled, but legally married until David's death in 1958.
Deborah eventually married Andrew Cavendish, the second son of the Duke of Devonshire. His older brother, William was killed in action in 1944 and William’s wife Kathleen “Kick” Kennedy died in a plane crash, Yes she was the sister of John F. Kennedy which linked the Mitfords to another wealthy, famous, controversial, and influential family. After the death of Andrew’s father, he and Deborah became the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire.
Deborah took to running her husband's ancestral home, Chatsworth House which was in poor condition upon her arrival. She spent time and money renovating, restoring, and modernizing it. It is now one of Britain's most successful stately homes and is open for tours.
Deborah wrote several books on Chatsworth's restoration, the rooms, furnishings, and gardens and other books about home care. She was frequently interviewed about her sisters, including for Lovell's book becoming an unofficial family historian. When she died in 2014, she was honored as the last of the Mitfords.
The Mitford Family were outrageous, scandalous, and colorful. They were women who were highly intelligent, knew their own minds, and chose their own paths. Sometimes those paths led them down dark roads of prejudice, violence, hatred, and animosity. They suffered heartbreak, loss, separation, and the effects of a world that rapidly changed around them. Lovell's book shows that most importantly the sisters were unforgettable.
