Justified Anger by Jennifer Colne; Sobering Account of the Effects of Molestation and Incest on a Family

 Justified Anger by Jennifer Colne; Sobering Account of the Effects of Molestation and Incest on a Family 

By Julie Sara Porter 

Bookworm Reviews 

Spoilers: It can be difficult for a family when one of their members is the victim of a crime. Sometimes the crime affects more than just the one who was hurt. It can affect everyone around them and fill them with feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, trauma, denial, and activism. Worse than that would be if the perpetrator was a family member as well. The actions and consequences can split a family apart as they take sides.

That is the situation faced by Jennifer Colne in her memoir, Justified Anger. This is a sobering, and unnerving book about the effects of child molestation and incest on her family.

Colne begins her book describing the troubles facing her daughters in 2001 when her eldest Katherine had been hospitalized for mental health problems and her younger daughter, Emma, lost custody of her children in a draining court battle with her abusive ex. This custody fight would lead to Emma being hospitalized as well after a suicide attempt and severe flashbacks. During one of these flashbacks Emma revealed that she was raped by her Uncle David. Later Katherine confessed that the same thing happened to her. David was arrested and charged with counts of rape, attempted rape, and sexual assault. Unfortunately that's not the end of the story. Emma was convinced that she was blocking something from her mind. After a few years and a second marriage, Emma remembered what it was. She was not only raped and molested by her Uncle but by her father, Steve as well.

Colne’s intense descriptions of her daughters' abuse and the aftermath including their fractured mental states reach into the Reader’s souls and understand the pain that this family went through and in many ways are still going through. The abusers left their marks leaving their victims in fragile states unable to cope with many of the stresses in their lives. 

It wasn't just the initial crime of sexual assault that made David and Steve monsters. It was the continuous after effects that created a lifetime of trauma from two innocent girls who were hurt by men that they should have trusted to protect and love them. Katherine and Emma suffered physical, mental, and emotional scars that never fully healed as they got older. They were in tears, raged, and engaged in self harm and addictive behaviors. 

One of the most painful chapters occurs years later when Emma, surrounded by her mother, children, and husband, regresses to a childlike state. Her memories of her childhood were muddled with those of her children. She couldn't separate the past from the present, referred to people in her children's lives by names of people that she knew as a child, could not recall recent memories, or recognize her children in their photos. Skills that she was adept in like cooking became unknown to her. She regressed to a mental child in an adult body. Steve not only robbed his daughter of her childhood by molesting her. He and his brother in law robbed her of her adulthood by replacing a fulfilled life of a good career, happy marriage, secure home, loving children with one of terror, fractured mental states, impulsive dangerous behavior, and internal misery. 

David and especially Steve did more long term damage. They didn't just destroy Katherine and Emma. They broke apart their whole family. Even though the sisters were on the same side in accusing and charging David, they stood on opposite sides when it came to Steve. Colne supported Emma's account recalling earlier moments of sexual, verbal, and physical abuse that her former husband inflicted on her. That was more than Katherine did.

Katherine refused to accept that her own father raped her sister. She claimed that Emma was a liar and was trying to get attention. It is bizarre that a woman who had been sexually assaulted by one family member and developed emotional and psychological problems would not be more empathetic towards her sister who had been going through the same thing. Emma’s state clearly showed that she had been abused if not by their father then by somebody. But unlike her mother who recognized the signs and confirmed Emma's account, Katherine blatantly ignored them and defiantly venerated her father.

Katherine's denial might have been a means to protect herself psychologically and might have been understandable. But the volatile extremes that she went through to discredit Emma are less defensible. She not only purposely sided with her father but influenced other family members to do the same such as her and Emma's younger brother Colne's son, Liam and Emma's own estranged children. They cut not only Emma out of their lives but Colne as well removing themselves of a sister, niece, and mother but also a mother, aunt, and grandmother. 

We don't get any understanding of Katherine's transition from defender and fellow victim to antagonist because it is told by Colne and she clearly doesn't know either. There might be speculation from the Reader but nothing known or said. Instead, Katherine and the rest of Steve's defenders having so much vehement animosity towards his accusers can be seen as yet another crime that can be laid at Steve's feet.

Justified Anger is a realistic book about trauma. People don't always recover after one hospitalization or breakthrough. It sometimes takes many stays and they can exhibit the same behaviors for years and even decades afterwards. Sometimes perpetrators don't get the punishment that they deserve. Sometimes the story doesn't end with hugs and reconciliation. Sometimes it ends with making peace with oneself and that's how Colne ends her book. Her family is still broken. Emma may still have psychological problems. Katherine is still estranged from the rest of the family. But Colne and Emma have made peace with themselves and have strengthened their connections as mother and daughter.

For now, that's enough.