Weekly Reader: Mysterious Aisles (The South Hertling Chronicles Book 1) by B.G. Hilton; Hilarious Send Up of Superheroes, Ghosts, Conspiracy Theories, and Stores That Are Actually the Den of Evil

 

Weekly Reader: Mysterious Aisles (The South Hertling Chronicles Book 1) by B.G. Hilton; Hilarious Send Up of Superheroes, Ghosts, Conspiracy Theories, and Stores That Are Actually the Den of Evil

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews

Spoilers: Last year, I thought that Champagne Charlie and The Amazing Gladys by B.G. Hilton was one of the craziest, weirdest novels that I ever read. A Steampunk Science Fiction Adventure novel, it had a madman who wanted to destroy the moon, bat and badger like aliens living on Earth and assimilated into typical English citizens, Irish pirates ready to take out English nobility, a stage magician with a wand that had real magical powers, and a dowager noblewoman who used her nobility as a secret identity for her real self as one of Britain's most renowned crime stoppers.

Now, having read Hilton's Mysterious Aisles (The South Hertling Chronicles Book 1), I have come to realize that Champagne Charlie and the Amazing Gladys was simply the warm up act. Mysterious Aisles dials up the crazy, weird, bizarre, and silly up to eleven. This book is brimming with supervillains and heroes, drunken ghosts, demigods, conspiracy theorists, magic portals, and a store that is actually a den of all evil.

 Refrain from the obvious (and somewhat accurate) Wal-Mart and Amazon jokes. For once, it isn't about them.

If you peer close enough and I'm talking with a magnifying glass peering very very closely, you might find a coherent plot in this book. At least in all of the madness in Champagne Charlie and the Amazing Gladys, there is something of an actual engaging and suspenseful story involved. With Mysterious Aisles, it's more of a string of random weirdness, one silly goofy event and character after another that gets sillier and goofier as the book continues. By the end, I expected The Colonel from Monty Python's Flying Circus to show up, break the fourth wall, and say this book is too silly.

But plot is not what we come for in these books. We come for the funny and the weird. That's what this book delivers. Boy, does it deliver.

The main protagonist of Mysterious Aisles is Axel Platzoff, AKA Professor Devistato, a retired supervillain. His days of plotting world domination are over and now he works at the Handy Pavilion, a hardware and outdoor enthusiast store. Unfortunately, Axel's customers include Captain Stellar, Axel's former archenemy who is now going into maudlin detail after his boyfriend dumped him. Stellar and Axel's relationship is less of a villain/ hero and more like two acquaintances turned reluctant friends who see each other and bicker all the time. It's similar to the animated series, The Venture Bros which also shows superheroes and villains having reluctant friendships with each other when off the clock or during retirement. 

Besides Axel, Handy Pavilion is also staffed by other specimens of weirdness. There's Laura, a new hire, who after an accident becomes the new superhero on the block. Bruce, a former contractor, who now haunts the store as a ghost, a drunk foul-mouthed ghost. Zorbar Ofthechimps, a staff member, was raised by chimps. Gwen Harper has a magical connection to wood. Angela and Sadie McGregor, twins who take the good twin/bad twin dichotomy to the next level. Buck Dusty, a wannabe cowboy, works in power tools and has a lot of knowledge of different dimensions. Karl Wintergreen, owner of a nearby stationary shop, writes a business newsletter that is actually filled with his conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and the Trilateral Commission. Norman, a young employee, has divine family connections. Seamus, a garden gnome, comes to life during the full moon. Nalda, a killer cyborg from the future, works in Arts and Crafts. Did I mention this store was weird?

Besides the weirdness within, there's also weirdness outside. Handy Pavilion is in frequent rivalry with the nearby DIY Barn. Rather than the conventional means like sales, business acquisition, and better advertising, this corporate rivalry is more like war between countries. The stores resort to such means as kidnapping and explosions to cut the competition.

 It turns out that DIY Barn is actually DIY Evil because it apparently is a trans-dimensional portal that welcomes evil  demons, spirits, and  so on. Handy Pavilion has to battle for more than just awesome savings and friendly customers. They have to battle for souls.

Both DIY and Handy have their go to person to commit the nastier deeds. DIY has the Phantasm, a mysterious figure (who ends up being not really that mysterious)  who covertly spies on and sabotages the Handy Pavilion staff (though really not that covertly).  Many of Handy's more ruthless endeavors are overseen by Axel, who even though he is officially retired from the supervillain game, is glad to put his talents to good or bad use.

Mysterious Aisles is a book that has a joke on just about every chapter and page. Some don't make sense and don't have to. They just have to be very funny and they are. It's the kind of book where when Handy Pavilion needs the assistance of a plumber, two somewhat familiar characters appear. Two sisters named Maria and Luigina. I said somewhat familiar. 

We also learn that Norman is the most recent child of Zeus. Isn't it nice to know after thousands of years, the king of the Greek gods still can't keep it in his robe? All of these character traits add to the overall humor.

There are also hilarious interactions between characters. When Stellar is drunk and heartbroken about his recent breakup, Axel comes up to him and the two act less like opposite sides of good vs. evil and more like the last two guys to exit the bar during last call.

My favorite interaction is Karl's Newsletters which are supposed to mostly be accounts of local business news and sales but are really just platforms for his craziest conspiracy theories that are then edited and mostly redacted by Claudia, his hapless editor. Karl and Claudia's war of words is uproarious particularly when Karl personally insults her and she comments "Redact this!" Then she leaves a particularly damning accusatory conspiracy theory in just so she can sit back and see what happens.

Then there are the moments that mock the entire plot and the conventions of the genre that this book is in.

One character goes into an overly long diatribe about how the store rivalry is only a small part in a larger plan. Unfortunately, this character's rambling is so boring and confusing that the others (and the narration) lose interest. Something tells me that come Book 2, they are going to wish that they had paid attention.

Mysterious Aisles is what it is. It's crazy, weird, and hilarious. It's not to be taken seriously. Just taken with a good sense of humor and a huge pound of salt. You're going to need them. 

Weekly Reader: Call Numbers: The Not-So-Quiet Life of Librarians by Syntell Smith; Sharp, Funny, and Deep Look At Rivalries and Relationships Inside A Public Library

Weekly Reader: Call Numbers: The Not-So-Quiet Life of Librarians by Syntell Smith; Sharp, Funny, and Deep Look At Rivalries and Relationships Inside A Public Library

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews


Spoilers: Syntell Smith's Call Numbers: The Not So Quiet Life of Librarians, could be considered the library equivalent of Joshua Ferris' Then We Came to The End. Both are humorous workplace satires about the wacky hijinks of employees and are also used to make important serious points about their societies. However, they are very different in many ways. Then We Came to The End was about an office set at an advertising agency facing the early 2000's economic crisis dealing with the fear of layoffs and possible workplace violence from an unhinged fired employee. Call Numbers is about the staff of a New York Public Library branch in 1994, that have to deal with budget cuts, an underprivileged neighborhood, and racial tension between staff members and the people around them.

Robin Walker, library clerk, is a transfer to the 58th Street Branch of the New York Public Library, from the Ft. Washington branch. As soon as he enters his new workplace, he is surrounded by conflict. He may be able to memorize the locations of various books by the call numbers, recognizes the lion statues in front of the Central Branch by name, and knows the Procedures of Conduct by heart, but that doesn't stop him from making a few enemies the second that he enters the doors.

His first enemy is Sonyai Yi, Branch Senior Clerk. She doesn't trust Robin's friendly but obstreperous behavior. However, that is not the only reason that she doesn't like him. Sonyai is in charge of the four young pages and she promised the next clerk position to high school student, Janelle Simms. Janelle needs the promotion because she's pregnant and the only ones who know are Sonyai and the other three pages.


Another enemy is Tommy Carmichael, another clerk and Sonyai's protege. Tommy doesn't like Robin, mostly because Sonyai doesn't. He isn't above playing juvenile pranks to force his authority over the newbie.

Yet another enemy is Ethel Jenkins. She and Gerry Coltraine are the only two African-American clerks at the 58th Branch until Robin comes along. Gerry bonds with him partly out of solidarity and partly to show Sonyai up. (He wants to become Senior Clerk in her place). Ethel however is suspicious of him for a personal reason. He is lighter skinned than she and she can't resist mocking him every chance she gets. She gets a page, Alex Stevens, to go along with the snide attitude until Alex takes a prank too far.


Oh yes and there are other plots going along with Robin and his Not-So-Merry Team of Rivals. Library Director, Augustus Chavez constantly vies with Heywood Lerner, Information Assistant, for movie nights and philanthropic donations, but has a loyal supporter in Zelda Clein, Librarian, who acts like a pit bull defending her boss.

Angie Trueblood, Information Assistant, is trying to earn her Associates in Library Science degree. However, she discovers some shady things about Augustus.

Meanwhile the youngest staff member, 14-year-old, Lakeshia Seabrooke develops a crush on Robin. She gets some off color advice from fellow page, Tanya Brown, who also has to deal with some bullies at school. The library staff of the 58th Branch may want their patrons to shush for the good of other patrons, but this staff is anything but silent.

There are some situations that are so broad that they are almost farcical. One is the hazing ritual that Sonyai and Tommy put Robin through in which he is faced with checking patrons out during the closing rush. Unfortunately, this ends in a fist fight between the two clerks to be broken up by Zelda and the police.

Another situation involves the extremes that Heywood goes through to prevent Blazing Saddles from being loaned out to 58th Branch for an upcoming Mel Brooks Film Festival.


Then there's the crash course on sex that Tonya gives Lekeshia complete with The Joy of Sex as a manual. (They borrowed the book under Tanya's name and oops, it's past due. Of course, Tanya's parents get a phone call.)

There is also the bar where library employees from different branches meet and compare notes about the awful people that they work with and conspire against them. They may be information professionals, but sometimes their immaturity shines through as much as or more than their willingness to offer books and other sources of knowledge to the New York public.

While the book is very broad at times, there are moments that Smith makes the Readers see the real characters inside the goofy hijinks. The characters show a lot of depth that take them beyond sitcom stereotypes. While Robin instantly goes on the defensive when he arrives at 58th, making enemies with his blunt attitude, he also shows a vulnerable side. He cares for his ailing grandfather, who has long been hearing impaired, and remains estranged from his superstar half-sister and stage mother.

He also has a friendly relationship with Gerry where the two quiz each other on call numbers. Once he and Tommy get past their testy initial dislike, their relationship cools down to frienemies who like to tease, but will defend each other. Robin also helps Tanya with her bully situation and agrees to go out with Lakeshia while letting her down gently by reminding her that he is an adult and it would be illegal for them to be together.

Even the more antagonistic characters show real depth and strengths both inside and outside the library. Just when we are ready to write Sonyai off as a domineering bitch, she shows a maternal side to the four pages. She treats them like wayward daughters giving them advice and lecturing them. She dislikes Robin mostly because of her protectiveness towards Janelle and the girl's situation.

In one of her best moments, she stands up for Janelle when her parents are furious about her impending pregnancy. She even gains a grudging respect towards Robin by the end.

The pages have their own girl squad. They act like sisters who disagree but help each other. Even when they are split about Robin, Lakeshia and Tanya like him and Alex and Janelle don't, it doesn't end their friendship with each other.

Augustus shows an antagonistic side as he cuts corners, sucks up to wealthy donors, and kills anything that would resemble negative publicity. The latter particularly at the expense of the staff's welfare. However, he makes it clear that he loves his library and would do anything to make sure that it remains operational and gets all of the new equipment, releases, and technology that they need. Even if he might have to commit potentially questionable and possibly illegal deeds to do it.

Some of the characters shine best in their home lives away from the library. Tommy has a loving interracial marriage with his pregnant wife, Sarah, which still bears some animosity from their families.

Angie shows a lot of spunk in her information science classes and exhibits knowledge that rivals her professors (and probably most of the staff). The conservative nerdy, Heywood gains an appreciation for grunge music, thanks to a friendship with a female musician who is mourning for a friend and fellow musician who recently committed suicide. (It's 1994, guess who?)

Ethel learns that she has a medical condition which could cause complications for her future career plans. Even characters like Zelda who seem to not have a life beyond the library show how important their jobs are to them and how hard they work to give people the information that they need. These moments show these characters' many facets. They can be selfish jerks, sarcastic wisecrackers, wacky goofballs, sympathetic friends and family members, and well-rounded individuals.

There is a serious undercurrent of racial tension that moves along as a theme throughout the book. Many characters suffer from comments or stereotypical remarks about their race creating a Mutual Animosity Society.

In one passage, a racist patron asks Angie for a librarian. She puts him in his place by not only telling him that she is an information professional and in two years will be a librarian, but also sharply reprimands him for his dismissive attitude towards her for being Native American. Many other characters like Sonyai and Robin respond similarily to racist comments while others like Augustus and Zelda turn a blind eye, trying to keep the library free of bad publicity.

Many characters are aware of the undercurrent of tension and how it affects their relationship with the other staff members and the public. When Robin is met with hostility on his first day, he responds back with further hostility. This tension leads to some violent encounters such as Tommy and Robin's fist fight.

The worst encounter is a final prank in which Alex writes an obscene message inside the library before opening, one that she knows will get under Robin's skin. Robin responds as violently as expected. This prank causes all the undercurrents to explode and come to the forefront.

In 2020, this prank would end up on social media and there would be a firestorm so big that no one could contain it. The encounter wouldn't slide and for better or worse, there would be some serious questions and a restructuring of the library and its staff.

However since the book is set in 1994 and they have a library director who is obssessd with giving the library a good facade, that doesn't happen. He only suspends Robin and Alex and practically cajoles and bribes them not to make it public. They agree but it is painfully clear that this tension isn't over.

With a second book on the horizon, those undercurrents will become stronger and what simmered will explode. What was once funny may no longer be. There are some hints that the comedy will stop when reality steps in and takes center stage. The 58th Street Branch staff are a pretty humorous character driven bunch now, but what happens next may take the humor out and show the real characters.

New Book Alert: Murder in the Multiverse: Multiverse Investigations Unit by R.E. McLean; A Fun and Clever Series In This and Any Other Alternate Universe

New Book Alert: Murder in the Multiverse: Multiverse Investigations Unit by R.E. McLean; A Fun and Clever Series In This and Any Other Alternate Universe

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews




PopSugar Reading Challenge: A book about or by a woman in STEM


Spoilers: R.E. McLean's Multiverse Investigations Unit is a unique series in which the protagonists solve crimes in various parallel universes. It is like an exciteable physics professor giving a lesson on quantum theory with very bright flash cards and loud special effects. It's interesting and informative, but mostly it's a lot of fun.


Alex Strand, a young post-doctorate student in physics is studying quantum theories particularly how it pertains to the frequent death and resurrection of her cat, Schrodinger. (Get it, like Schrodinger's cat experiment? Yes, it's that kind of book.)

Unfortunately, she gets up close and personal to these experiments when reclusive billionaire, Claire Pope is found dead. Two mysterious police officers, Monique Williams and Mike Long tell her that they need her help to prevent the murder of... reclusive billionaire, Claire Pope.

Before Alex can say "Wha-?," she is taken to the Multiverse Investigations Unit, a secret organization which investigates and prevents crimes in the Multiverse, the various alternate universes. The MIU needs Alex's expertise in quantum physics to investigate. Alex is partnered up with Mike and the two explore Silicon City, an alternate version of San Francisco that is connected to the Hive, an artificial intelligence. The duo try to prevent Claire's murder while Alex explores this new world and conducts her own deeply personal investigation.


I haven't enjoyed a murder mystery satire this much since Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next series. This is one of those book series that is a complete delight to read and be amazed at the fantasy trip the author puts us on. McLean captures the alternate universe milieu perfectly. Silicon City is a brilliantly realized setting. The details from the fashion, to the slang, to the social customs are well thought out. There is also a real sense of the sociopolitical difficulties of a populace physically connected to an artificial intelligence that limits their freedom.


There are some brilliant clever touches to the series that lends itself to the concept of alternate universes such as different versions of the same people and how even if certain things change, they are still the same people underneath. Claire for example is a billionaire in different businesses. In one universe, she created a pet food empire and in another invents accessories for ear pieces that hook up to the Hive. However in any world, she is still an agoraphobic recluse with very few friends and one ex-husband.

The MIU has an employee named Madge Ciccone who was named for Madonna because she was born the same time that the pop singer had her first number one hit, "Into the Groove." However, Madge has prematurely aged, a fad in her universe. Silicon City has its own counterpart in Madge with Madonna, who looks and dresses like the pop singer, but lives in a world that has never heard of her.


There is a clever interactive experience between McLean, the series, and the Reader. McLean has a website that describes the various other alternate universes such as one in which the British won the Revolutionary War and another in a dystopia. These other universes offer intriguing possibilities for future volumes that should be just as fascinating to explore.

The website is also a mock recruitment process for potential Multiverse Investigations Unit professionals including a quiz to join and cases (book synopsis). It takes one back to the late '90's-early '00's when websites such as Galaxy Quest's or The Blair Witch Project's were created specifically to give fans a full interactive fourth-wall-breaking experience.


Besides the fun, the series stands out by giving us fascinating characters otherwise the book would just be a travelogue into weirdness. Mike is the typical veteran with a bad history that has yet to be elaborated upon. Though there are hints that somehow he lost a partner. His facial hair goes through some unintentional peculiar metamorphoses that changes every moment from a beard, to a van dyke, to a goatee, to a handlebar etc.(apparently an after-effect to some trip gone awry.)

Alex is also well-written: the brains to Mike's brawn. Fortunately, she is a lesbian so it saves us a "will-they-won't-they" scenario between our lead partners. However, she does fancy another MIU employee so we may see a potential office romance.

She also has a painful past and a lot of guilt that has consumed her life. When she enters Silicon City, she does not look around only for scientific curiosity. She also looks for information about her past and in an emotional moment, she receives it.


Murder in the Multiverse is a brilliant first step in this fun and exciting series. It is a brilliant work in this and any other universe.

Classics Corner: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman; A Brilliant Pythonesque Send Up About Biblical Prophecy and The End of the World

Classics Corner: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman; A Brilliant Pythonesque Send Up About Biblical Prophecy and The End of the World

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews

Spoilers: I grew up in a Christian household so I had a very tense childhood filled with nightmares and fear about Satan, Hell, the Rapture, and the Book of Revelation. Those thoughts made me uncomfortable and I dreaded going to church. Many times I worried whether I was “saved” enough and lost a lot of sleep over the years. As I grew older and became a Wiccan, I realized that I didn't agree with that idea of spirituality. If a religion has to guilt trip or scare me into joining, then in my mind, it was not a religion worth having.

I think that's why Good Omens resonates so well with me. It takes many of those Book of Revelation fears and made a comedy out of them. It is sort of like what would happen if The Monty Python guys wrote The Omen or The Left Behind series. Terry Pratchett, late author of the Discworld series and Neil Gaiman, before he became the literary giant we know today, took those concepts found in Biblical prophecy like the Anti-Christ, the End Times, Armageddon and the rest and made them better and funnier.

This send up of Biblical prophecy begins with Crowley, a demon who did not fall from Heaven but just “fell in with a wrong crowd” and Aziraphale, an angel who wants to follow God's ineffable plan no matter how arbitrary it seems. The duo have been on Earth longer than they have been in Heaven or Hell. They have even worked out an Arrangement (in capital letters) where Crawley tempts one person while Aziraphale guides another. Crowley takes one region in England while Aziraphale works another. They don't interfere in each other's transactions, their Bosses get their souls, and everything is hunky dory. That is until Crowley's Hellacious colleagues, Hastur and Ligur show him a certain screaming baby delivered up from the bounds of Hell and he is ordered to take him to the hospital in Tadfield. The baby is the Antichrist and the End definitely is nigh.


That's a bummer for Aziraphale and Crowley because they kind of like Earth. Crowley would miss his barely lived in penthouse flat, his well kept plants, and his beloved Bentley with car phone and tape deck which turns every cassette into the Best of Queen if it has been in the deck longer than two weeks. (This book was published in 1990, one year before Freddie Mercury's death and Queen received a second life thanks to the rerelease of Bohemian Rhapsody). Aziraphale would miss his used bookshop and old antique books, the sweet little cafes where everyone knows his name, and the great classical composers. (Heaven only has two: Elgar and Liszt).

Aziraphale and Crowley make for a memorable duo and their moments together are a delight as the two bicker, agree, and talk like an old married couple leaving many Readers (such as myself) to conclude that maybe they are a couple. Crowley's cynical barbs match up with Aziraphale's idealistic naive quips making them more of a comedy team instead of beings on opposite sides of the war between God and Satan.
One of the highlights is an argument in which Crowley tries to convince Aziraphale to thwart Armageddon by reminding him that he still hasn't seen the end of Sound of Music. (“And you'll enjoy it, you really will.”) Because they will miss Earth and each other, the duo decide to take matters into their own hands or rather into their own wings and cloven hooves. They decide to watch over the baby and steer him towards good or evil.

Great idea but oh wait the baby was delivered to the wrong couple. They've been watching the wrong one and the real Anti-Christ has grown up without any angelic or demonic influence.


Besides Aziraphale and Crowley, Good Omens has some other great situations and characters. There is Agnes Nutter, a 17th century witch whose prophecies are spot on much to detriment of her descendant, Anathema Device and her new boyfriend, Newton Pulcifer who happens to be the descendant of the Witch Hunter who executed Agnes.

There are the Horse Persons of the Apocalypse now taking advantage of modern era. War is an arms dealer turned war correspondent. Famine writes diet books which promote not eating and also creates a series of frozen foods with no nutritional or edible value whatsoever. Pestilence is out for the count because of penicillin and antibiotics, so he is replaced by Pollution who works on various oil tankers that mysteriously explode. Death is well, Death.
The Four Horse Persons even ditch their horses in favor of motorcycles and also get new members to their gang with names like “Things That Don't Work Properly After You Give Them a Good Thumping” and “Really Cool People.”

Then there is the Anti-Christ, Adam Young who is a cross between Tom Sawyer, Booth Tarkington's Penrod, and Anthony Freemont from the Twilight Zone episode “It's a Good Life.” He is forever getting into mischief with his friends Pepper, Wensleydale, and Brian and his dog, Dog, and doing typical kid things like playing “The British Inquisition” and “Charles Fort and the Tibetans Vs. The Aliens” based on things he read. He is able to make things happen such as causing aliens to appear and Atlantis to rise from the oceans but is unaware of the reason why until it is almost too late. (In one of the few dramatic moments, Adam understands the full scope of his powers and has to appeal to his friends to stop him.)

There are great moments sprinkled throughout the book such as the Bugger Alle This Bible which has a few extra verses transcribed by a clearly irritated typesetter. There is an order of Satanic nuns whose job it is to deliver the Antichrist only to make a mess of things when they give him to the Youngs and who one member turns their temple into a meeting place for businesspeople to work out their aggressions by playing paintball.

There is a great moment where Aziraphale crashes a religious telecast and gives some American Bible Thumpers what for about the Rapture. (“Who has time to go round picking people out and popping them up in the air to sneer at the people dying of radiation sickness on the patched and burning Earth below them?”)
Of course there is the inevitable final showdown between God, the Devil, and Our Heroes in which they try to convince them that the World doesn't have to end.

Good Omens is a great book especially if you are familiar with the Bible and it's End Times prophecies. But even those who aren't, will love the wordplay, dialogue, farcical situations, and story in which Good and Evil don't fight so much as perform a stand up comedy act.

Classics Corner: The World of Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse; Winning Funny Stories About A Goofy Dilettante And His Helpful Valet

Classics Corner: The World of Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse; Winning Funny Stories About A Goofy Dilettante And His Helpful Valet




By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews




Spoilers: You may be having a sense of deja vu as you look through the blog lately. I am reviewing some books that were reviewed when I first began. The main reason that I am doing this is that these were among the first reviews that I did. You know how it is, when you look at your original works and think how you could have done them differently. They were okay, but could be better especially when the work was so good. You want to give the book the full attention that it deserves.

So I am giving more detailed reviews of some of my favorite books.


I always say that Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Bertie Wooster short stories are the cure for what ails you. From the moment that Wodehouse introduced the pair in the story, “Jeeves Takes Charge,” the wise valet and his foolish gentleman about town employer captivated their Readers with silly antics, humorous asides, and witty one-liners.


Every page is filled with hilarious situations with Bertie Wooster dealing with his love-lorn friends, scheming relatives, and madcap situations. Bertie and the others usually solicit the help of Jeeves to get them out of whatever trouble they are in.

Wodehouse’s writing and Bertie’s first-person narration stands out. Bertie constantly waffles in his description and misquotes or forgets literary quotes. (“If you give them a what's-his-name, they take a thingummy!”) Bertie makes a fool of himself when he tries to command Jeeves but often acquiesces in the end (usually involving Bertie’s fashion faux pas or Jeeves’ desire to travel).

Many of the passages are laugh-out-loud hilarious even after multiple readings and are perfect for a beautiful spring day or a not-so-beautiful stressful winter day or any day that is beautiful or not-so-beautiful.

There are many favorite stories but these in particular stand out (I will also include favorite quotes from each story):


1. “Jeeves Takes Charge”
The historic first meeting of the duo sets the stage for things to come. Bertie first meets Jeeves when after a wild previous night with the members of his gentlemen's club, The Drones, Bertie is hung over the next morning. Upon arrival as a new valet, Jeeves creates a mixture that instantly perks up Bertie's “old bean.”

This story creates many of the tropes found in the other stories: unsuitable fiancees, goofy gentlemen, eccentric older relatives, bratty kids, and elaborate schemes which Bertie gets talked into. This time. Bertie's temperamental fiancee, Florence Craye wants him to steal his Uncle Willoughby’ s manuscript before it gets published because it details Willoughby's wild youth with Florence’s father

The situation is set up as Bertie waffles about how to steal the manuscript and what to do with it once he has it in his possession. This also shows his early reluctance and snobbishness against confiding in Jeeves. He later learns that much of the situation would have been resolved quicker if he had put him in his confidence sooner.

Quote
Bertie: Oh Jeeves about that checked suit?
Jeeves: Yes sir?
Bertie: Is it really frost?
Jeeves: A trifle too bizarre in my opinion, sir.
Bertie: But lots of fellows ask me who my tailor is.
Jeeves: Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir.
Bertie: He's supposed to be one of the best men in London!
Jeeves: I am saying nothing against his moral character, sir!
Bertie: Alright Jeeves, you know give the bally thing away to somebody.
Jeeves: Thank you, sir. I gave it to the under gardener last night, a little more tea sir?


2. “Scoring Off Jeeves”/”Sir Roderick Comes to Lunch”
Some of the stories are so tied together, that they might as well be one. These are a pair of those stories and they introduce probably Bertie's most prominent antagonists: Sir Roderick Glossop, analyst or as Bertie refers to him “janitor of the loony bin”, Glossop's daughter, Honoria, a pushy bright young woman who is built like a wrestler, and Agatha Gregson, Bertie's snobbish mean aunt.

The story, “Scoring Off Jeeves” also shows what happens to Bertie when Jeeves isn't around. He usually gets into more trouble. In this instance, Jeeves is away on vacation and Bertie helps his love sick friend, Bingo Little win the heart of Honoria Glossop, who harbors a not-so-secret crush on Bertie. Without going into great detail, things get messed up and Bertie finds himself engaged to Honoria.

The next story “Sir Roderick Comes to Lunch”, Jeeves resolves this situation thanks to some coincidences involving three stray kittens, a misplaced hat, a dead fish, and Bertie's trouble making cousins, Claude and Eustace. The story involves characters assuming different things and the wrong things happening at the right time. It also shows how much Jeeves is willing to do to get his employer out of these situations.

Quote:
Bertie: I've told you how I got engaged to Honoria Glossop in my efforts to do young Bingo Little a good turn. Well on this particular morning she had lugged me around to Aunt Agatha's for lunch and I was just saying, “Death where is the sting?” when I realised the worst was yet to come.


3. “Aunt Agatha Takes the Count”
Bertie and Jeeves have a talent for getting in trouble no matter where they go and Monte Carlo is no exception. Bertie meets the beautiful and wild, Aline Hemingway and tries to help her and her parson brother, Sydney out of a jam much to Jeeves’ concern.

While as hilarious as the other stories, this one also focuses on mystery and crime as Bertie encounters con artists and stolen jewels. It is a nice change of pace in putting the characters in some real potential danger with shady figures rather than their usual comic misadventures.

There are also some really interesting moments in which we get some information from Jeeves’ past about a previous employer. Bertie also has a heroic moment when he finally stands up to his bullying Aunt Agatha.

Quote:
Bertie: I don’t know when I've had a more juicy moment. It was one of those occasions about which I shall prattle to my grandchildren-if I ever have any, which at the moment of going to press seems more or less of a hundred to one shot. Aunt Agatha simply deflated before my very eyes. It reminded me of when I once saw some intrepid aeronauts letting the gas out of a balloon….. I dug out my entire stock of manly courage, breathed a short prayer, and let her have it right in the thorax.


4. “The Aunt and the Sluggard”
There are a few stories that are set in New York, to explore Wodehouse's fascination with America (which he lived from time to time and wrote Broadway musicals with Guy Bolton). Wodehouse satirized America like he satirized England with his wit, hilarious situations, and stereotypes made funny. He depicted America's captains of industry, vapid chorus girls, Bohemian artists, and naive Midwesterners in his New York stories.

This particular story is a fine example of Wodehouse's gentle mocking of the U.S.A. Bertie's poet friend, Rocky Todd receives a letter from his Illinoisan Aunt Isobel to describe the New York nightlife. However, Rocky lives in the country and doesn't like visiting New York City unless he has to visit his editor. No problem, Jeeves says. Jeeves will describe the cabarets, parties, and celebrities and Rocky can write letters based on the descriptions. Unfortunately he does such a good job that Isobel has come to visit and assumes Bertie's apartment is her nephew's.

Besides playing into comic misunderstandings, this story also offers the Reader some humorous stereotypes. Rocky is the typical poet that can “look at a worm and wonder what it is doing for hours at a stretch,” almost a 1920’s version of a Beatnik. Rocky’s aunt is similar to the small town tourist who sees New York City as a Fantasy Land reprieve from their daily life.

The biggest joke is Jimmy Mundy, a parody of preacher, Billy Sunday. With Mundy, Wodehouse satirizes the American Hell-Fire-and-Brimstone pastors, who believe everything around them is a gateway to sin as well as their followers who hang onto the pastors’ every word.

Quote:
Bertie:” Dear Freddie,
Well here I am in New York. It's not a bad place. I'm not having a bad time. Everything's not bad. The cabarets aren't bad. Don't know when I shall be back. How's everybody? Cheerio!-
Yours,
Bertie
P.S.: Seen old Ted lately?”
Not that I cared about old Ted, but if I hadn't dragged him in, I couldn't have gotten the confounded thing on to the second page.


5.“Jeeves in the Springtime”/”Jeeves and the Little Woman”
Similar to “Scoring Off Jeeves”/Sir Roderick Comes to Lunch,” these two stories are better experienced together because they tell a continuous story both of which deal with Bertie's friend Bingo Little wanting to marry a waitress and he, Bertie, and Jeeves use the romance novels of Rosie M. Banks to soften Bingo's uncle, Lord Bittlesham.

While the first story has a very awkward conclusion, the second story builds on that in a most unlikely and surprising manner in a way that ends up changing Bingo's status throughout the remainder of the series.

Most of the humor in these stories are supplied by Rosie M. Banks’ maudlin romance novels with titles like Only A Factory Girl, Mervyn Keene, Clubman and The Woman Who Braved All. The books are intentionally melodramatic and corny as they make fun of the Romance novels of their day. They are probably recognizable by modern Romance Readers as well. Rosie M. Banks’ books are no doubt the type of books that make critics guffaw and Readers sigh. (Think of them as the Twilight of their day.)

Quote
Bertie(reading The Woman Who Braved All): “‘What can prevail’-Millicent's eyes flashed as she faced the stern old man.-’what can prevail against an pure and all consuming love? Neither principalities nor powers, nor all the puny prohibitions of guardians and parents. I love your son, Lord Windermere, and nothing can keep us apart. Since time first began, this love of ours was fated and who are you to pit yourself against the decrees of fate?’
The Earl looked at her keenly from beneath his bushy eyebrows 'Humph,’ he said.”..
….. Lord Bittlesham: I-I considered that I have been -er defied. Yes, defied.
Bertie: But who are you to pit yourself against the decrees of Fate? You see this love of theirs was fated since time began you know.
I'm bound to admit that if he'd said “Humph!” at this juncture, he would have had me stymied.

6. “Without the Option”

One of the most popular images from the Jeeves stories is Bertie stealing a police officer's helmet during Boat Race Night, the annual race between Oxford and Cambridge. Many of the stories and novels call back to that moment and that image achieved popular culture status as other authors refer to it. The first episode of the Granada Jeeves and Wooster series has Bertie getting arrested on Boat Race Night before he encounters Jeeves the next morning.

This is the story in which the theft of the police officer's helmet is introduced as a plot point. Bertie, who has been arrested for the theft, gets off with a fine, but his friend Oliver “Sippy” Slippery is held for 30 days without the option. What’s worse is that Sippy has to visit the Pringles, friends of his aunt's. Jeeves suggests Bertie, who feels guilty about Sippy's arrest, impersonate Sippy and visit them instead.

Besides the policeman helmet fiasco, the story becomes even sillier when Bertie encounters the Pringles particularly Aunt Jane who hasn't forgotten that Sippy chased her cat as a child and never lets Bertie forget it and Heloise, who resembles a certain familiar face from Bertie's past.

Quote:
Jeeves: I would definitely suggest, sir, that you left London as soon as possible and remained hidden for some little time in some retreat where you would not likely to be found.
Bertie: Eh why?
Jeeves: During the last hour, Mrs. Spencer Gregson has been on the telephone three times, sir, endeavouring to get into communication with you.
Bertie: Aunt Agatha!
Jeeves: Yes sir, I gathered from her remarks that she had been reading in the evening's paper a report of this morning's proceedings in the police court.
Bertie: Jeeves, this is a time for deeds not words! Pack-and that right speedily.
Jeeves: I have packed, sir.
Bertie: Find out where there is a train to Cambridge.
Jeeves: There is one in forty minutes sir.
Bertie: Call a taxi.
Jeeves: A taxi is at the door sir.
Bertie: Good then lead me to it.

7. “Jeeves and the Yuletide Spirit”
Even Christmas is not safe from Bertie's antics. In this story, we meet two new regulars to the Jeeves stories as Bertie visits the country for the holidays.

The first is Tuppy Glossop, Sir Roderick's nephew, a practical joker who once played a joke on Bertie at The Drones Club. Ever since then Bertie has sworn to get even.
The other character is Roberta “Bobbie” Wickham, a red-haired flapper whom Jeeves describes “as a charming young lady, but much too frivolous.” She is forever jumping headlong into schemes and putting Bertie right in the middle. In this story, she suggests that Bertie puncture Tuppy's water bottle in retaliation for his earlier prank. The results are not what Bertie expected but are amusement for the Reader.

Quote:
Bertie: The next thing that happened was a bit of a lull in the proceedings. For about three and a quarter seconds or more possibly more we just stood there, drinking each other in so to speak, the old boy still attached with a limpet-like grip to my elbow. If I hadn't been in a dressing gown and he in pinky pyjamas with a blue stripe, and if he hadn't glaring quite so much as if he were shortly going to commit murder, the tableau would have looked rather like one of those advertisements you see in magazines, where the experienced elder is patting the younger man's arm and saying “My boy if you subscribe to the Mutt-Jeff Correspondence School of Oswego, Kan. as I did you may some day, like me, become the Third Assistant Vice-president of the Schenectady Consolidated Nail-File and Tweezer Corporation.”


8. “Jeeves and the Song of Songs”

This story is another one that shows how far Bertie will go to help friends and family. Tuppy falls in love with Cora Bellinger, an opera singer, and seeks to impress Cora by singing at a “clean bright entertainment for Eastenders”. When Bertie learns that Tuppy broke up with his cousin Angela to get with Cora, Jeeves suggests Bertie also sing at the entertainment. The goal is to embarrass Tuppy in front of Cora and put him back together with Angela. 

The entertainment goes over as expected with Bertie and Tuppy choosing to sing the same song, a sappy number called “Sonny Boy” and getting attacked by a vegetable throwing crowd for their efforts.

We also meet Aunt Dahlia, Angela's mother who Bertie calls his “good aunt” to a point. Even though she is not as mean or as bullying as Aunt Agatha, Dahlia, also knows how to get Bertie to do exactly what she wants.

Quote:
Dahlia: Jeeves, you're a marvel.
Bertie: Jeeves, you're an ass
Dahlia: What do you mean he's an ass? I think it's the greatest scheme I ever heard.
Bertie: Me sing Sonny Boy at Beefy Bingham's clean bright entertainment? I can see myself!
Jeeves: You sing it daily in your bath, sir. Mr. Wooster has a light pleasant baritone-
Dahlia: I'll bet he has.
Bertie: Between singing Sonny Boy in one's bath, Jeeves and singing it before a hall full of assorted blood-orange merchants and their young, there is a substantial difference.
Dahlia: Bertie, you'll sing and like it!
Bertie: I will not!
Dahlia: Bertie!
Bertie: Nothing will induce -
Dahlia: Bertie, you will sing Sonny Boy on Tuesday, the third prox, and sing it like a lark at sunrise or may an aunt's curse-
Bertie: I won't!
Dahlia: Think of Angela!
Bertie: Dash Angela!
Dahlia: Bertie!
Bertie: No, I mean hang it all!
Dahlia: You won't?
Bertie: I won't.
Dahlia: That is your last word is it?
Bertie: It is. Once and for all, Aunt Dahlia nothing will induce me to let out so much as a single note.

And so that afternoon I sent a pre-paid wire to Beefy Bingham, offering my services in the cause and by nightfall the thing was fixed up. I was billed to perform next but one after the intermission. Following me came Tuppy and immediately after him came Miss Cora Bellringer, well-known operatic soprano.




9. “ Indian Summer of an Uncle”
Apparently, the young aren't the only ones getting romantic in these stories. The older characters do as well. This story features Aunt Agatha forcing Bertie to interfere with his Uncle George's marriage to a woman half his age.

There are some clever bits such as when Bertie encounters the woman's aunt, a talkative dizzy older woman that confuses Bertie so much that he practically forgets the reason he came. The story also resolves itself, thanks to Jeeves, in a way that is kind of sweet and pleases all parties involved.


Quote:
Bertie: The point to be considered now is what will Aunt Agatha do about this? You know her, Jeeves. She is not like me. I'm broad-minded. If Uncle George wants to marry waitresses then let him say I. I hold that rank is but the guinea stamp.
Jeeves: Guinea stamp sir.
Bertie: All right, guinea stamp. Though I don't believe that there is such a thing. I shouldn't have thought that they come higher than five bob. Well as I was saying I maintain that rank is but a guinea stamp and a girl is a girl for all that.
Jeeves: For a’ that sir. The poet Burns wrote in the North British dialect.
Bertie: Well for a’ that if you prefer it.
Jeeves: I have no preference, sir but it is simply that the poet Burns-
Bertie: Never mind about the poet Burns.
Jeeves: No sir.
Bertie: Forget the poet Burns.
Jeeves: Very good, sir
Bertie: Expunge the poet Burns from your mind.

Jeeves: I will do so immediately, sir.
Bertie: What we have to consider is not the poet Burns but the Aunt Agatha. She will kick Jeeves.
Jeeves: Very probably, sir.


10. “Bertie Changes His Mind”
This story gives us a chance to see what Jeeves really thinks of his employer. This is the only one told from Jeeves's perspective.

While not as hilarious as Bertie's narrations, Jeeves’ point of view has a dry almost sarcastic wit as he describes Bertie's shortcomings and how he gets past them. It also shows him a little more relaxed with his peers than he is with those on a higher social status than himself so we get another side to his character.

Jeeves is methodical as he helps Bertie through a plot that involves a wayward schoolgirl and a speech Bertie has to give at her school. While this isn't as intricate as many of Jeeves’ other plots, it shows that the valet is only human and sometimes even he has to rely on contrived coincidence and a bit of name dropping to aid his employer.

Quote:
Jeeves: Mr. Wooster is a young gentleman with practically every desirable quality except one. I do not mean brains for in an employer brains are not desirable. The quality to which I allude is hard to define, but perhaps I might call it the gift of dealing with the Unfortunate Situation. In the process of the Unusual, Mr. Wooster is too prone to smile weakly and allow his eyes to protrude. He lacks presence…… to Mr. Wooster it was plainly an ordeal with the worst description. He gave one look at the young ladies who were all staring at him in an extremely unwinking manner then blinked and started to pick feebly at his coat-sleeves. His aspect reminded me of that of a bashful young man who persuaded against his better judgement to go on the platform and assist a conjurer in his entertainment suddenly discovers that rabbits and hard-boiled eggs are being taken out of the top of his head.

Classics Corner: The Vicious Circle: Mystery and Crime Stories Written By Members of the Algonquin Round Table Edited by Otto Penzler; A Witty Dark Collection From Some of America's Funniest And Most Notable Writers

Classics Corner: The Vicious Circle: Mystery and Crime Stories Written By Members of the Algonquin Round Table Edited by Otto Penzler; A Witty Dark Collection From Some of America's Funniest And Most Notable Writers

By Julie Sara Porter

Bookworm Reviews


Chances are if you are a frequent Reader of early 20th century American Literature, then you probably wondered what it must have been like to be a member of the Algonquin Round Table. This was a group of intellectuals, writers mostly but also actors, musicians, comedians, and producers who met from 1919-1927 at the Algonquin Hotel in New York City to drink, argue, discuss, drink some more, curry favors, hook up, write, and no doubt to drink again.


While people hovered in and out of the group, some of the known members included some of the brightest of 1920’s society including columnist, Alexander Woollcott, humorist, Robert Benchley, critic and author, Dorothy Parker, playwrights, Robert Sherwood, Edna Ferber, and George S. Kaufman, and comedian, Harpo Marx among others. The group would meet to prank or trade clever barbs and comebacks with one another. (One example involves Woollcott observing the normally tweed-suit-wearing Ferber in a gown. Woollcott: My dear, you almost look like a woman. Ferber: So do you.) Even in modern times, the Algonquin Round Table members are known for their caustic wit and one-liners, but they also served a more serious purpose by inspiring one another's writing talents, collaborating on works, and becoming involved in various mostly liberal causes.


The Algonquins were heavily criticized as sophisticated elitists who traded comments but did very little (sort of a precursor to the so-called “Liberal Elite” stereotype), but in reality were very involved in labor union disputes, civil rights, and anti-censorship movements. (They didn't just talk the talk either. After her death, Dorothy Parker bequeathed her estate to Martin Luther King Jr. who then bequeathed it to the NAACP. The NAACP dedicated a memorial garden to her outside their Baltimore office.)


While their works were often clever and funny, the Algonquins weren't unaware of the dark side of human nature. They were aware of hatred, prejudice, envy, and death. That dark side often appeared in their writings so the Algonquins were naturals to write crime and mystery stories.


Otto Penzler, proprietor of the Mysterious Bookshop in New York City gathered the Algonquin's mystery and crime stories to create The Vicious Circle (a nickname for the Algonquins), a collection that displays the Algonquin's clever wit and love of the dark side of life. Many of the stories aren’t whodunits in the traditional sense and the emphasis is not on the plot angles of solving murders. Instead the focus of the stories is mostly on sharp wit and dramatic irony usually involving characters in criminal illegal situations all while providing clever barbs and commentary.The characters in these stories might stab someone in the back but not before delivering a clever bon mot beforehand.


The five best stories that display the Algonquin wit in deadly situations are:


“Coroner’s Inquest” by Marc Connolly- Pulitzer winning playwright, Connolly wrote this short story which could be the inspiration for the “Twilight Zone-Tales-From-The-Crypt-M.-Knight-Shyamalan” twist ending. In a dialogue heavy story, a witness recounts the deaths of a friend, Jimmy, a Little Person and his brother-in-law, Robel. The situation is grotesque as Jimmy becomes obsessed with the thought that he is growing (therefore no longer marketable as a Little Person). The story builds to a climax that is dipped in irony and farce, making the story a dark comedy-mystery turned into a revenge tale.


“Farewell, My Lovely Appetizer” by S.J. Perelman-Readers who are familiar with the hard boiled detective works by Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, and Jim M. Cain, would enjoy Perelman’s parody story. Perelman, a frequent writer for the New Yorker magazine and collaborator of the Marx Brothers sent up the clichés of the world-weary cynical detective, the bright but not too bright female assistant, and the gorgeous femme fatale who hires the shamus to solve her case or be her fall guy. The story particularly skewers Hammett’s classic, The Maltese Falcon by offering us a main character whose resemblance to Hammett's Sam Spade is no doubt entirely intentional. To add to the parody, the femme fatale who is not-supposed-to-be-but-really-is Falcon’s Brigid O'Shaughnessy, tells her hard luck story and makes a casual reference to a golden spintria in her story of murder and betrayal. In contrast to the Maltese “stuff that dreams are made of”, when asked about what the spintria has to do with her story, the Fatale responds: “It doesn't. I just thought it added glamour to the story.”



“Haircut” by Ring Lardner- Sports columnist, Lardner's short story is an excellent example of dialect storytelling. In the story, a barber tells a customer about a love triangle that resulted in a murder. What makes the story stand out is the tone and style that brings the narrator to life. Through the Narrator's account, Lardner expertly captured those verbal tics that we all recognize in storytellers like constant repetition, subject changes, and endless digressions. We all know someone like that: a Big Talker who will ramble on and on leaving his listeners glancing at their watches and watching the outside skyline get lighter while they sit there intensely fascinated. The Reader hovers between telling Gardner's protagonist, “Please continue” and “Get to the point!”


“The Great Warburton Mystery” by George S. Kaufman and Howard Dietz- If Perelman's story brilliantly mocks the hard-boiled mystery, then Kaufman and Dietz's one-act play is a clever send up of the drawing room mystery written by the likes of Agatha Christie, Dorothy L. Sayers, and Ngaio Marsh. A detective solves a murder at a fancy dress party using solutions that mock the deductive reasonings of Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot. Instead of using logic to come to his conclusion, Inspector Cartwright appears to pull solutions out of his ass, once almost literally. (He insists that no two chair impressions are alike so starts measuring the sitters). He moves his way through a party of bizarre suspects, particularly an irritating heiress who insists on becoming the center of attention by inserting herself into the investigation and claiming to be linked to various characters.


“Big Blonde” by Dorothy Parker- If the kingdom of the Algonquin Round Table had a queen, she would be Dorothy Parker. Parker was certainly the most well-known of the Algonquins particularly for her wisecracks, witty poems and screenplays (including the original, A Star is Born), and caustic book and theater reviews. She also wrote plenty of short stories that were filled with ironic situations and dry humor that characters used to get through life’s troubles. These weren't gut busting hilarious stories but Parker's characters were often caught up in difficult situations which they faced with sarcasm, cynicism, and a brazen “what the hell" attitude. Dorothy Parker's characters laugh, so they don't cry.


Parker's story, “Big Blonde” captures not only the wit and irony of Parker's writing but it perfectly encapsulates the division between humor and darkness found in the Algonquin's stories making this the best story in the anthology and Parker the best writer of the Algonquin Round Table.


On the surface nothing seems remotely funny about Hazel Morse's life as she moves from one unhappy relationship to another and ultimately attempts suicide. Parker's narration provides some sharp contrast to this sad situation with witticisms about Hazel's life. Before her marriage, Hazel weighs out potential suitors by their locations: “She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.”


Some of the darkest passages offer humor that is wry, sarcastic, and sometimes uncomfortable such as when she weighs out the different methods towards suicide. Hazel dismisses various means such as guns (“Too noisy.” She always turned her head during shooting scenes in plays), knives (“Hurts like hell.”), and poison (“They wouldn't sell it to you because of the law.”). Similar to Parker’s terse poem, “Resume”( Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live”)., the narrative provides an ironic gallows humor that could be summarized by saying “I can't kill myself. I might get hurt!”


There is also something empathetic in Hazel (and in turn Parker who attempted suicide several times in her lifetime) in her cynicism in the midst of despair. She is someone who faces life's hardships with a smirk, a good stiff drink, and saying “Here's mud in your eye” (sort of the Jazz Age version of flipping the bird) before her attempt. She may feel down but Hazel will give the world an earful before that happens. Hazel is like the comedian giving a monologue about their mental health issues while inside a psychiatric ward recovering from them.


While Dorothy Parker is the best writer of the Algonquin Round Table, all of the writers provided their Readers with clever original ways of looking at the world of crime and death. They allowed their Readers to see that world with a chuckle or a smirk along with the firm grimace.

Forgotten Favorites: The Bestseller by Olivia Goldsmith; A Sharply Funny Brilliant Look Inside The Publishing Industry

Forgotten Favorites: The Bestseller by Olivia Goldsmith; A Sharply Funny Look Inside The Publishing Industry
By Julie Sara Porter
Bookworm Reviews

Spoilers: Many hands are involved before a book gets read by the public: authors, editors, publishers, critics, and many others so the book is read, sold, packaged, and hopefully makes it to the top of the New York Times Bestseller List.
 Olivia Goldsmith's follow up to her best-selling novel, The First Wives' Club, The Bestseller gives the Reader an inside look to those hands that make a book sell.

The plot focuses on several authors who would sell their mothers, friends, lovers and souls, for a chance to see their names in Kirkus, Publisher's Weekly, and  in the hands of every library patron and Barnes and Noble customer.

 They are: Opal O'Neil, who is peddling her late daughter, Terry's literary 2,000 page magnum opus, The Duplicity of Man from one publisher to another. Camilla Clapfish, an Englishwoman who pens A Week in Firenze, a sweet story about five middle-aged women on vacation in Italy.
Susann Baker Edmonds, a once-famous romance novelist who is on a grueling book tour (42 cities in six week) to promote her latest floundering work. Judith Gross writes a thriller about infanticide, In Full Knowledge, which her husband, Daniel takes full credit for.

Each of the authors has their stories about the extremes they go through to get their works published which feature equal parts persistence and equal parts having the luck to have an understanding ear.

 Opal waits in one waiting room after another hoping to pass Terry's work to a sympathetic editor which she finally does to Emma Ashton, a young idealistic editor. While working as a tour guide in Florence, Camilla is fortunate enough to have a romance with a handsome tourist who turns out to be Emma's brother.
 Susann has to deal with promoting her latest to an uninterested fickle public and her daughter who also decides to write a book....about her relationship with Susann. Judith is irate about her husband's deception, infidelity, building ego, and theft of her royalties which she gets revenge in a satisfying epic manner. The authors are creative, bright, ambitious, and likable in their persistence in getting their works published.

Besides the authors, we also get an inside look at the publishers inside the fictional Davis & Dash which is the recipient of these works.

 There is the aforementioned Emma who is the heart and soul of the book and is the only one who genuinely cares about the new authors like Opal (and Terry), Judith, and Camilla. Pam Mantiss, the self-absorbed and alcoholic Editor-in-Chief who has the insufferable task of ghost writing a tacky sexy thriller for Peet Traynor, their recently deceased top selling male author. Finally there's Gerald Ochs Davis AKA GOD, the second generation publisher who always wanted to write and write he does: a trashy novel based on a family scandal. With the neuroses and peccadilloes of the Davis & Dash staff, it's a miracle that decisions get made let alone books get published.

Since this book was published in 1997, it's definitely a book of it's time. Amazon.com only gets a scant mention. Many of the smaller companies panic about getting swallowed by bigger companies. (A very real situation in '90's publishing.) Famous names are dropped who were giants in the late 20th century writing world such as Danielle Steel, John Grisham, Michael Crichton, and Stephen King. (Even Goldsmith herself and her book, First Wives' Club get as shout-out.)

It would be interesting to wonder what a 21st century version of this book would be like. Authors would be swindled by self-publishing sites. Editors would stress about social media platforms and how many downloads the E-Books are getting. You just know one of the authors would be a British single mum beginning a fantasy series about a boy wizard.

But The Bestseller is a great novel that takes the Reader behind the scenes of their favorite books and learn about what it takes to put them in their hands.

Weekly Reader: Then We Came To The End By Joshua Ferris; A Workplace Satire That Is Brilliant, Funny, and Surprisingly Moving

Weekly Reader: Then We Came To The End by Joshua Ferris; A Workplace Satire That Is Funny, Brilliant and Surprisingly Moving
By Julie Sara Porter
Bookworm Reviews

Spoilers: We have all had workplaces that were like family. You may not have liked the job, thought the responsibilities were tedious and the boss a complete tyrant, but you liked or got along with your colleagues. These are people you may see more than your families and even though you long to get away from this dead end job, you have a lump in your throat finding it hard to say goodbye to a great team.
That is the situation faced by the characters in Joshua Ferris' National Book Award Finalist Novel, Then We Came To The End. Ferris' novel is a brilliant and sharply funny workplace satire that is filled with understandable characters that make the novel surprisingly warm and moving.

The characters work in a Chicago ad agency...well that is when they actually work. Most of the time, they mill around each other's offices, tell long funny stories, play pranks, gossip about each other, and gather a tenth cup of coffee before buckling down to work, usually the last hour or so.
"We were fractious and overpaid. Our mornings lacked promise. At least those of us who smoked had something to look forward to at ten-fifteen." said the Narrator in first person plural. Ferris used this point of view as a "corporate we,"  the point of view of the entire office (similar to William Faulkner's short story, "A Rose For Emily" used "we" to tell the point of view from an entire small town.).

Despite the employees' inertia, they are aware of the function that they sell what people buy and tell them to buy it: "Using a wide variety of media, we could demonstrate for our fellow Americans their anxieties, desires, insufficiencies, and frustrations-and how to assuage them all. We informed you in six seconds that you needed something that you didn't know you lacked. We made you want anything that anyone willing to pay us wanted you to want. We were hired guns for the human soul. We pulled the strings on the people across the land and by God, they got to their feet and they danced for us."

However those days of pulling the strings while people danced may be coming to an end. This is the time of the early 2000's dot com bubble burst and everyone is terrified of being laid off, "going Spanish." (from either a Tom Waits song describing someone going to their execution or an older term in which pirates on the Spanish Main lifted victims by the scruff of the neck and made them walk as their toes barely touched the deck. For Our Heroes and Heroines, it means being let go.)
Now they have a pro bono assignment for a breast cancer awareness campaign that requests that they take "a light-hearted approach to cancer," which they can't even fathom how to begin. ("How do you say something funny about breast cancer?")

While waiting for the axe to fall, the office resorts to various means to break the tension, in almost farcical situations. (Similar to Joseph Heller's Catch-22 which also featured characters finding humor in a dark situation, in their case, war instead of eventual unemployment.) Characters steal chairs and supplies from the recently departed like vultures over a dying mammal. (Unfortunately forgetting that each supply and chair has separate serial numbers that can easily be inspected by the Supplies Manager.)
They play pranks on each other such as during a humorous but culturally insensitive moment when two office pranksters create a fake scalp from "The Yoppanwoo Tribe" (a play on the duo's names, Chris Yopp and Karen Woo.) to mock a co-worker's gift of a totem pole from a deceased colleague.

They  get involved in office gossip when two characters, Larry Novotny and Amber Ludwig engage in an affair resulting in Amber's pregnancy. They also live in fear of Tom Mota, a disgraced unstable former coworker who they dread will seek revenge.(Which he does in a way which may be highly inappropriate to modern Readers but fits the book's satiric almost insane tone perfectly.)

While the book is filled with humorous situations, the characters are almost believable because they are relatable. We worked with people like them or maybe are people like them. We know a Karen Woo, an office gossip who goes to great lengths to find an answer to a story including following a bereaved co-worker on her lunch. We may be a Marcia Dwyer, an acid-tongued wisecracker who is a source of derision because of her questionable taste in entertainment (in Marcia's case, '80's big hair band ballads). We may also recognize Benny Shassburger, a colleague with a big heart and even bigger mouth who gets attention (and kills time) by entertaining the masses with a story. There is also Jim Jackers, a character who while is not the sharpest knife in the drawer is able to come up with a great solution for the ad campaign.

Because  these characters are so understandable, the book has a lot of warmth underneath the chuckles. The characters worry about their boss, Lynn Mason when she goes under surgery and chemotherapy for cancer. They attend a book signing by Hank Nearly after he leaves the firm to become a novelist. When the characters leave the others have a moment of silence and regret (before they raid their chairs and supplies.).
The family atmosphere is so prominent that the characters feel the loss when they are removed from them. One character works in a larger office and misses the camaraderie that he had before. He misses his surrogate family.

Then We Came To The End is a book that makes you laugh but you may find yourself sniffling when the book is closed.